Monkey in the Middle

I love that game. The power of being the person outside throwing the ball over the head or over the side of the "monkey in the middle". Now if you've never played the game you are truly missing out. It's a three person or more game, with one person in the center and everyone on the outer circle, keeps the ball away from the person in the middle. The object of the person in the middle is to finally catch the ball. When the ball is caught by the person in the middle, the person who threw the ball becomes the "monkey in the middle".
Oh, it's a most fabulous game. You must play it.
The worst part is actually being the monkey. That feeling of being left out, unable to get the ball and everyone around you taunting and laughing at all your attempts to catch the ball. They may even trick you by looking as though you are about to throw it in one direction, only to end up throwing it in an entirely new direction, forcing you to remain in the middle.
Drats and double drats.

Although, I have just discribed a very fun, energetic and highly competitive game, there are times in my life when I feel like the monkey in the middle always trying to catch the ball and failing; only to be taunted and laughed at. I try so hard to catch the damn ball and can't ever reach it. Either because someone tricks me and throws it in the opposite direction from which he/she is looking, or someone else throws it so high above me, it is a mathmatical impossibility for me to catch it; let alone a physical impossibility, leaving me to feel left out and unsuccessful.

If I sound a bit aggitated, it's because I am. I try hard in life to catch the ball, to reach higher, to strive for excellence, only to feel left out and discouraged. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't always happen, there are times, when I catch the ball and someone else gets the torture of being in the middle; however, if always seems like they're never in the middle very long before they catch the ball I've thrown and I am back in the middle again.

So, what to do, what to do. ... curse, punch a wall, scream in a pillow, yell at the cat .... ?
The answer is ... drum roll please .... .... .... .... brrr brrr brrr ... patience, understanding, relativity, and prayer.
Why patience? Well, because everything in life involves some level of patience. My least favorite term and place to visit. Understanding, because I need to understand what I am in the middle for. There is a reason and a season for everything under heaven. Relativity, because, well, everything is relative. I won't always be in the middle and at least being in the middle will teach me what it is like for somene else who may end up in the middle. Prayer, because God commands that I take all my concerns to him because he cares about me. He may not reveal things to me the way I would like, but there is reassurance in the fact that he cares. Maybe not a whole lot of reassurance when I've been in the middle for over an hour, but enough. Prayer also, because he knows when I am broken. And there are times in my life, as well as yours, when being in the middle has broken you. God is near to the broken hearted. Being broken is a good place to be.
NOT a fun place, but a good place.
For me, perhaps, it's a good starting place.
Starting because, I don't know what I am supposed to learn from this game.
Starting because I am so used to playing games like this with God and keeping the ball away from him, rather than giving him the ball ... and I don't think he hesitates in keeping me in the middle to teach me a thing or two ...

So .... eeeee ... ooooo.... eeee..oo..eee...oooo (scratching arm pits) eee...ooooo ..... eeee (eating bugs and bananas) I'll continue to be the monkey in the middle for as long as it takes to actually catch the ball without pride, resentment, hostility, bitterness, anger or fear. I have to be willing to let God do with me what he sees fit for me, not tell God what I think is well fit for me and expect him to move and get me out of the middle. I need to be humble and confident.
Humble, because, as I have recently learned (again) because I can't do it alone, as I have a tendency to think I can; and confident because I know he is able. I can do nothing without him. For he is the vine and I am the branches, if I am not a part of him, I will not be successful. I can do nothing without him. Nothing. I need to rest in that. Truly rest. ... and be content in my current monkey in the middle situation.