King David and The Queen Jessy

I betcha'd like to know what that title's all about wouldn't ya?
Well, I'll tell ya. King David wrote most of the book of Psalms (that's a book in the Bible, for those of you who didn't know). He had a lot of issues with injustice and why the wicked were so fortunate in their circumstances. I gotta tell ya, I'm having some issues.....
One of my issues is with injustice, not so much with the wicked prospering (for now anyway).

I have been working on this group project. And for those of you who know me, I strive for perfection and have great difficulty dealing with those who don't, or rather do, but hope others will do all the working hard for them so they won't have to (and still get the credit for it). Needless to say, I have been a little perplexed and upset about it the last six and a half weeks. Praying was not exactly top priority for me. It was more like ordering. Well, no.... actually demanding.

I have been demanding God to "Fix it ... Now". It's not fair that there are some of us who are working and sacrificing while others are going about their lives the same as always not even trying to understand what is going on. It's frustrating, annoying and down right unfair! And to top it all off, we will share the same grade.

What are the alternatives? Turn in the work that is not up to par and accept a lower grade to teach the person a lesson. Ouch. Would it work? What if the person is ok with a "C" or even a "D" or oh, boy, this is gonnna hurt, ... an (gulp) an ... "F". Could I or the group accept this?
I know I couldn't. Could you? Would you?

Now, I don't mind helping someone who needs help. Even if I think this person doesn't deserve it. I do it because I think it is expected of me. Why, you ask? I'm not sure. I think it's been ingrained in me to help others. Even when I don't want to or think they deserve it. It's really not about what they deserve. I mean, I would like to think they would help me if I needed it. But that's not why I do it either. However, in this case - I really have to ask myself - would they help me if I really needed it? Or would they pass me by? My gut tells me I would probably be passed by; not by all the members of the group. The person would probably think, "What!? The Jessy doesn't understand something? She must be joking?" No, seriously, they would. Wouldn't you? Come on .... I know you would think the same way.... That is, if you knew me.

That's one of the reasons I feel I have been unfairly treated; besides the fact that hard work has been done by others and the person who has done little is going to get the same grade as those of us who have worked hard and gone above and beyond to get an "A". I mean, isn't that the point? Getting an "A", I mean.

People, my familiy included, seem to think I am some kind of superwoman. Well, I'm no Karyn White, either. Even though I may portray an image that I can handle most anything, I really can't. It is because of this image, I believe people choose to dump on me. As it relates to this group project, people seem to think that they can get away with out doing much because, "The Jessy knows what she's doing, so she'll pick up the slack for me." That may very well be true, but you'd be wrong in assuming I enjoy it. As I stated earlier, I like to help others, but not when the only reason they want my help is to make their lives easier, or to get themselves a better grade than they could have gotten on their own.

Now that's injustice. That is unfair and altogether poopa-doop.
Now, I mentioned earlier that I demanded God to do something about it... like, Now. We all know that God's idea of Now and our idea of Now are two very different ideas. Ya see, my idea of Now, would have been after the first week of injustice, not the sixth and a half week of it. But, hey, who am I?

Sooouuuh, this morning I get this email from Bobb Biehl:
God's Student
"If you feel misused, abused, or taken advantage of today - you may be seeing yourself as a victim. When we are victimized, we can focus on the wrong another person has done to us. This path is negative and destructive. When we focus here, it will keep us focused on the past, and will eventually turn us into very bitter, negative, fearful people.
Or, we can look for the 'life lessons' we learned as a result of the wrong someone has done. This path is positive and constructive. It lets the wound heal, and we can move beyond the past and into the future. See yourself as God’s student, not life’s victim."

So, thank you, God. You see the big picture, you know the thoughts and feelings of everyone in this group. You know the hearts and the sentiments. You know our nature and it is not altogether good. So, I thank you, God, for not always coming to my rescue Now, but rather making me go through the muck and guck of it all. I got dirty on this one and I am sure it won't be the last time; but I do know this: I will be extremely cautious the next time I hear, "I want to be in Jessy's group." echo in the distance.

Teach on, God, I'll be waiting ... and watching.