Fruit to be Praised

I love fruit. I love apples and bananas, strawberries and oranges, kiwi and asssorted berries and so many more. They are so sweet and yummy. Just writing about it makes me want to eat some.... My husband loves fruit as well and has planted many trees in our yard; orange, lemon, lime, avocado, mango and a couple more that I can't quite remember.

The trees he planted are still very small; some are only two years old. My husband takes care of his trees because he wants them to one day produce fruit; good fruit. I would like to have the trees produce good fruit as well; however, I don't really have anything to do with the hard work it takes in bearing good fruit. My man does all the work and the children and I will reap the benefits of such work. It's seems logical that he should labor for us; in fact it is Biblical that my man should toil and labor in order to produce and care for this family. This particular toiling and laboring; however, is something my man enjoys. The fruits he will bring us will give him great joy in sharing; he will be proud and I will be so proud of him for his determination and hard work.
I love to watch him work. I love to see him in the backyard fidgetting with the trees and making the stream around them just so; giving them a certain amount of "food" and water, covering them in the cold. It puts a smile on my face as I think and write of it all.

I can't wait to tell my man, "I am so proud of you", "You did a great job with this tree", or "This fruit is amazing". And I know he can't wait to hear it. It is engrained in him to hear the words, "I am so proud of you." He thrives on it.

Truth be told, there are many of us who thrive on the praises of others. But not in a proud, haughty sense; in a natural, longing way. The way in which a child desires the praises of his/her parents when he/she accomplishes the daunting task of tying his/her own shoes for the first time without the help of an unsuspecting sibling.

But what if I never gave my man praise? What if I did not offer acclamations to my son or daughter upon their accomplishments? Would they know I care? Would they learn to seek praise properly? Would they learn to offer praise unto others?

Unfortunately, the answers to those questions are not pleasing to most. If my man never heard praise from me, his ears would be attune to listen to it from anyone; hence one reason men cheat. If my son and daughter never heard me speak over them the praises they need to hear, they would not learn to give praise to others, nor would they have any sense of accomplishment.

Everyone needs to hear "good job" every once in a while, even when it may be undeserving.
Even though your praises may fall on deaf ears. Even if your acclamations go in one ear and out the other. You give praise and hope the one who hears it will be encouraged, inspired, enthused (and all the other e and i words that mean "to encourage"). It all boils down to motive. The motive on your part and the motive on the part of the individual who either offers you praise or hears praise from you.

If my motives are wrong and intended to bring something unto myself; any praise I offer will be in vain. It's two fold. If the person whom I pour praises into has ill motives, then the praises are in vain. So what's the point? The point is, there will be no fruit. No yummy, sweet, delicious fruit. No fruit for me, no fruit for the person I offer praise to. Confused?
Ok. Say you have a tree. You water it, but the water has a lot of chemicals. You feed it, but maybe you feed it too much, or with the wrong food. When it's cold, you are too cold and tired to go cover it from the elements. Ya see where I'm going? You want the fruit, but you are unwilling to do the work and your motives are wrong; selfish; lazy. You'd rather have someone else do it for you, while you just watch the tree bloom and produce wonderful fruit for your own enjoyment at the expence of someone else.

Now, what if I know my encouragement will inspire someone to do something for me?
Again, motive. Duh!?
If I am doing it for the benefit of myself at the expense of someone elses heart and hurt, it is wrong. Plain and simple.
But, you ask, what if that person to whom you give praise, enjoys the work they are doing for you as well as the praise you give? Well, good question. Still, my answer is an equal an opposite question; what's your motive?

Whether my man enjoys laboring at his yard work or not is not the question. I know he enjoys it, but others looking in may not know that. My man needs to hear it and know that I mean it. My man needs to be affirmed and reassured in his labor; his work is not in vain.
My motive: To please my man.
His motive: To please me and our children.

If you want others to do the work for you while you enjoy the harvest and the beautiful fruit at the expence of someone elses hard work .... while you may praise them, your praise is unheard and in vain.
Your motive: To please yourself.
My (or the 'others') motive: To please you.
You see, you would be getting all the pleasure at the other persons expence. Yes, that person may enjoy the work they are doing for you; but their motives are just, fair, right. Your motives aren't.

The Bible calls this kind of thing "flattery" and warns us to be careful. See Jude 16, Psalm 12:1-4, Proverbs 26:28, I Thessalonians 2:1-12. Be careful with your words. Those whom you sprinkle flattery on may not even be aware of your intentions. It is unfair to them and not very kind of you; especially if you call yourself a Christ-follower. You should know better. However; there are many among you who are on their guard due to your uncensored flattery. They live by this old adage: Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Being particularly cautious of those who take up the cross and follow Christ. Now that's a shame.

So, what to do .... what to do ....
Seek forgiveness from God. Ask the person whom you have offended to forgive you. Be honest with yourself and with the person whom you have taken advantage of. Maybe it's your spouse, friend, group member, sister, son, daughter; who knows. The fact is, you can't continue riding the feathers of a bird whose wings are breaking. The wings will eventually break and you will both fall. How fast and how hard is up to you.

Do the right thing. Seek forgiveness for your selfishness.
Ask God to cleanse you and give you a pure heart; pure motives.
Hey, we've all been there. It's part of living in a world where God won't walk. It's not that he doesn't want to; in fact that's what Jesus, his son, was for. The sacrifice. The appeasement. The atonement. So, just do it. What are you waiting for? The person you have been taking advantage of may not even be aware of it ... but you are. And that, my friend, makes all the difference.

So, do everyone around you a big, huge, favor and give praise properly, with the right motives. It's a battle for some.
Ask God to shut you up, if you think you can't give proper praise.
Trust me, he'll be glad to. And others will be glad for it.