Charlie Brown Moments

Have you ever had those moments where no matter what you do or say, nothing goes the way you envisioned it would? Well, guess what? You either have, will or you're lying. I've been going through the most difficult time of my life (so far). Some of you reading this will be reminded of the changes C3 went through; her conception, her pregnancy, her birth and now her growing pains; although, I wouldn't necessarily refer to them as all bad just because they are growing pains.

The conception was fun; the ideas and inspirations being concieved; it was awesome. Her trimesters, or her pregnancy was rough; some thought touch and go, others thought all would be lost, while still others were hopeful and expecting; as any proud parent would be. It was during that time however, that many treated the unborn C3 as though she should have been aborted; it was unnatural, a mistake, ungodly and some tried to poison the unborn C3. Many made their thoughts known. Some were painful. Some were quiet. Some loud. Some, you didn't even know about until it was too late.

During the birth of C3, again, many let their thoughts be known. Even the deaf were, at times, louder than the hearing. Others were quiet and lurking; kept from view. Still others were loud and damaging. Not quite what you'd expect from Church people. ... or is it?

Well, that's what I'm going through, only not with C3.

It's a Christ centered place. A place where I felt safe to let my guard down. I mean, come on, we're all Christians here. We all know how we are supposed to act, behave, speak and share. Why would anyone in their right mind think that a Christ centered place would be unsafe? Me, that's who. And as far as I know, I'm in my right mind.

I felt safe until I was blind sided. I didn't even see it coming and if I could kick myself in the @&$, I would!!! I feel like Charlie Brown when he trusts Lucy will hold the ball this time. She promises that she won't take the ball away and he naively believes her. We think he's stupid and cry through the comic strip, "NO! Don't trust her Charlie Brown! Don't be stupid!" But what does he do? He trusts her and runs to kick the football only to have it wisked away just before he lifts up his leg to kick it ... and then he falls on his bumm. Why does he keep doing it? Is he stupid or something? Well, as my mentor Forest Gump always says, "Stupid is as stupid does."

Charlie Brown is a trusting, naive individual who has Lucy's best interests at heart. He believes there is goodness in her and she prides herself off being able to fool him. You see, Lucy knows Charlie Brown. She watches him and learns from him in order to side wind him in the end. And that, my friends, pisses me off. She's a deceitful bwitch. How can Charlie Brown NOT see that?! Because he trusts her and has her best interests at heart, that's what blinds him. He believes there is good in her.

Trouble is, he may have had his doubts, but it was too late. By the time he realized what was happening, she had removed the ball and he was flat on his back. Sorry Charlie Brown, but didn't you see it coming. He should have seen it coming, but he didn't. He was full speed, determined, anxious and excited; only to be let down and disappointed and left to feel foolish for having been so trustworthy to begin with. I'm with you Charlie Brown, ... mi ese.

Charlie Brown is not wrong for believing the goodness of Lucy and forgiving her for all the times she tricks him. Although he is kind of a depressing individual and blames himself for it all as though he deserves it; he does not deserve it. Lucy, on the other hand, is wrong. It is all about her intentions. She intended to make Charlie Brown feel and look pathetic and stupid. She already knows how she can and because she knows she can, she does it. That, my friends is wrong. She is taking advantage of him.

If you know someone is trusting and has your best interests at heart, Christian or not, you have no right to use that to your advantage. What advantage, you ask? Well, what was Lucy's advantage? To make herself feel more powerful, to make Charlie Brown look foolish, there are all sorts of things; however, it is wrong. Even she knows it's wrong, but she keeps doing it because she feeds off from it.

That's the key to it all; what we feed off from. Some of you feed off the kindness and naivety of others; some of you feed off from helping others; some of you feed off manipulation; some of you feed of "playing the victim" or "playing dumb"; while still others of you feed off from others pain and hurt. Charlie Brown feeds off naivety, while Lucy feeds off the control and power. So why do I feel like Charlie Brown? Well, I'll tell you. Because I have been feeding off the belief that people are good and Christians wouldn't knowingly, take advantage of and hurt other Christians.

The thing that bothers me the most is when they act as though they were the victims all along. Oh the things I'd like to say ... then eat a jar of red peppers and wash it back with a bottle of Palmolive brand dishsoap. Yummy.

All joking aside, life is not fair and I need to come to terms with that concept ... quick, fast and in a hurry before I get side winded (again) by another Lucy out there. I need to be on guard. I should have all along, but I didn't. I picture myself like the French cousin of Jerry the mouse in Tom & Jerry; his sword to the ready, "On guard ... hi-ya ... hi-ya... ... Touche a la Pussy Cat". The sad reality is this - Christian or not, I need to guard my heart. The world is an unsafe place and so are its' people. I need to be more aware and vigalent of its dangers and the threats that could be lurking in my own backyard. That's not to say that I won't be fooled again, but at least I will have taken the repsonsibility for it; unlike some. But that is a whole nother blog.

God has His hand in this somewhere. I need to learn to trust him with the Lucy's in life and come to terms with the fact that He has my best interests at heart, even when the Lucy's of this world don't.