Who says you can't be emotional?

What makes you think you can't display anger?

What about sadness?

Now why is it you shouldn't show your tears; allow them a voice?

Says who?

Your shrink? Your new found book?

What is the worst that could happen if you demonstrated how you felt?

You really believe that? How much do you believe that? Would it really make a difference?

Your child has probably suffered significant trauma.

Your child may not even know what any other emotion looks like outside of anger (unhealthy anger at that).

So, really, what's wrong with showing your child how you feel? Why would you hide it?

And did you know when you hide it from them, you are hiding it from yourself.

When you are sad, tell them and show them you are sad. Let the tears come; let them flow, give your tears a voice. Be an advocate for your feelings and your child.

When you are angry, tell them and show it (in a healthy way, of course); the same goes for any emotion. Let them be aware of your anger and the intensity of it; hence the reason you may have to give yourself a time out. The same goes for your sadness. If you are overwhelmed, obviously give your self some time away from the situation, but let your child know what is happening with you.

And please, do not blame them. Just tell them how you feel and whether you can be there or if you need some alone time; some Mommy time.

Tell them what you need. If you need a hug, ask for it. If you need them to wipe your tears, tell them. Tell them you need some away time; a time out for you so you won't say something inappropraite or make them feel bad.

Let them see your emotions; how else will they learn what they look like or what they mean.

You have to understand that many of these children have no idea whatsoever what emotions look like or how to express them. And if you are spending all your precious energy on hiding them from your child because "you don't want to let them to get the best of you or use your emotions to control you" then how will they learn emotions other than rage and anger.

Give your self a chance; give your child a chance to really "see" you for who you are.

You are worth it. You have a right to express how you feel and your child has the right to see it; to "see" you. How else will they know?

So, the next time you are sad, cry. Tell them "I could really use a hug right now". If they say no, it's ok ... It's not about you. They probably don't know what to do with that. It's ok. Give them time to process it. Maybe the next time they see you cry, they will be more willing to give you a hug or wipe your tears.

If they laugh at you, remember, it's not about you. It's about what is going on inside of them. Don't take it personal. They may think they are "victorious" for "making" you cry, but they probably don't have any idea how to cry for themselves. But someday they will, through you. Let your tears be a voice for them. Tell them your tears are for them, not because of them.

And don't forget to tell them how much your tears are a sign of tremendous love and compassion for them. Don't run away from your feelings; know when to take a time out and when to demonstrate healthy emotions.