Have you ever had those moments where no matter what you do or say, nothing goes the way you envisioned it would? Well, guess what? You either have, will or you're lying. I've been going through the most difficult time of my life (so far). Some of you reading this will be reminded of the changes C3 went through; her conception, her pregnancy, her birth and now her growing pains; although, I wouldn't necessarily refer to them as all bad just because they are growing pains.
The conception was fun; the ideas and inspirations being concieved; it was awesome. Her trimesters, or her pregnancy was rough; some thought touch and go, others thought all would be lost, while still others were hopeful and expecting; as any proud parent would be. It was during that time however, that many treated the unborn C3 as though she should have been aborted; it was unnatural, a mistake, ungodly and some tried to poison the unborn C3. Many made their thoughts known. Some were painful. Some were quiet. Some loud. Some, you didn't even know about until it was too late.
During the birth of C3, again, many let their thoughts be known. Even the deaf were, at times, louder than the hearing. Others were quiet and lurking; kept from view. Still others were loud and damaging. Not quite what you'd expect from Church people. ... or is it?
Well, that's what I'm going through, only not with C3.
It's a Christ centered place. A place where I felt safe to let my guard down. I mean, come on, we're all Christians here. We all know how we are supposed to act, behave, speak and share. Why would anyone in their right mind think that a Christ centered place would be unsafe? Me, that's who. And as far as I know, I'm in my right mind.
I felt safe until I was blind sided. I didn't even see it coming and if I could kick myself in the @&$, I would!!! I feel like Charlie Brown when he trusts Lucy will hold the ball this time. She promises that she won't take the ball away and he naively believes her. We think he's stupid and cry through the comic strip, "NO! Don't trust her Charlie Brown! Don't be stupid!" But what does he do? He trusts her and runs to kick the football only to have it wisked away just before he lifts up his leg to kick it ... and then he falls on his bumm. Why does he keep doing it? Is he stupid or something? Well, as my mentor Forest Gump always says, "Stupid is as stupid does."
Charlie Brown is a trusting, naive individual who has Lucy's best interests at heart. He believes there is goodness in her and she prides herself off being able to fool him. You see, Lucy knows Charlie Brown. She watches him and learns from him in order to side wind him in the end. And that, my friends, pisses me off. She's a deceitful bwitch. How can Charlie Brown NOT see that?! Because he trusts her and has her best interests at heart, that's what blinds him. He believes there is good in her.
Trouble is, he may have had his doubts, but it was too late. By the time he realized what was happening, she had removed the ball and he was flat on his back. Sorry Charlie Brown, but didn't you see it coming. He should have seen it coming, but he didn't. He was full speed, determined, anxious and excited; only to be let down and disappointed and left to feel foolish for having been so trustworthy to begin with. I'm with you Charlie Brown, ... mi ese.
Charlie Brown is not wrong for believing the goodness of Lucy and forgiving her for all the times she tricks him. Although he is kind of a depressing individual and blames himself for it all as though he deserves it; he does not deserve it. Lucy, on the other hand, is wrong. It is all about her intentions. She intended to make Charlie Brown feel and look pathetic and stupid. She already knows how she can and because she knows she can, she does it. That, my friends is wrong. She is taking advantage of him.
If you know someone is trusting and has your best interests at heart, Christian or not, you have no right to use that to your advantage. What advantage, you ask? Well, what was Lucy's advantage? To make herself feel more powerful, to make Charlie Brown look foolish, there are all sorts of things; however, it is wrong. Even she knows it's wrong, but she keeps doing it because she feeds off from it.
That's the key to it all; what we feed off from. Some of you feed off the kindness and naivety of others; some of you feed off from helping others; some of you feed off manipulation; some of you feed of "playing the victim" or "playing dumb"; while still others of you feed off from others pain and hurt. Charlie Brown feeds off naivety, while Lucy feeds off the control and power. So why do I feel like Charlie Brown? Well, I'll tell you. Because I have been feeding off the belief that people are good and Christians wouldn't knowingly, take advantage of and hurt other Christians.
The thing that bothers me the most is when they act as though they were the victims all along. Oh the things I'd like to say ... then eat a jar of red peppers and wash it back with a bottle of Palmolive brand dishsoap. Yummy.
All joking aside, life is not fair and I need to come to terms with that concept ... quick, fast and in a hurry before I get side winded (again) by another Lucy out there. I need to be on guard. I should have all along, but I didn't. I picture myself like the French cousin of Jerry the mouse in Tom & Jerry; his sword to the ready, "On guard ... hi-ya ... hi-ya... ... Touche a la Pussy Cat". The sad reality is this - Christian or not, I need to guard my heart. The world is an unsafe place and so are its' people. I need to be more aware and vigalent of its dangers and the threats that could be lurking in my own backyard. That's not to say that I won't be fooled again, but at least I will have taken the repsonsibility for it; unlike some. But that is a whole nother blog.
God has His hand in this somewhere. I need to learn to trust him with the Lucy's in life and come to terms with the fact that He has my best interests at heart, even when the Lucy's of this world don't.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Fruit to be Praised
I love fruit. I love apples and bananas, strawberries and oranges, kiwi and asssorted berries and so many more. They are so sweet and yummy. Just writing about it makes me want to eat some.... My husband loves fruit as well and has planted many trees in our yard; orange, lemon, lime, avocado, mango and a couple more that I can't quite remember.
The trees he planted are still very small; some are only two years old. My husband takes care of his trees because he wants them to one day produce fruit; good fruit. I would like to have the trees produce good fruit as well; however, I don't really have anything to do with the hard work it takes in bearing good fruit. My man does all the work and the children and I will reap the benefits of such work. It's seems logical that he should labor for us; in fact it is Biblical that my man should toil and labor in order to produce and care for this family. This particular toiling and laboring; however, is something my man enjoys. The fruits he will bring us will give him great joy in sharing; he will be proud and I will be so proud of him for his determination and hard work.
I love to watch him work. I love to see him in the backyard fidgetting with the trees and making the stream around them just so; giving them a certain amount of "food" and water, covering them in the cold. It puts a smile on my face as I think and write of it all.
I can't wait to tell my man, "I am so proud of you", "You did a great job with this tree", or "This fruit is amazing". And I know he can't wait to hear it. It is engrained in him to hear the words, "I am so proud of you." He thrives on it.
Truth be told, there are many of us who thrive on the praises of others. But not in a proud, haughty sense; in a natural, longing way. The way in which a child desires the praises of his/her parents when he/she accomplishes the daunting task of tying his/her own shoes for the first time without the help of an unsuspecting sibling.
But what if I never gave my man praise? What if I did not offer acclamations to my son or daughter upon their accomplishments? Would they know I care? Would they learn to seek praise properly? Would they learn to offer praise unto others?
Unfortunately, the answers to those questions are not pleasing to most. If my man never heard praise from me, his ears would be attune to listen to it from anyone; hence one reason men cheat. If my son and daughter never heard me speak over them the praises they need to hear, they would not learn to give praise to others, nor would they have any sense of accomplishment.
Everyone needs to hear "good job" every once in a while, even when it may be undeserving.
Even though your praises may fall on deaf ears. Even if your acclamations go in one ear and out the other. You give praise and hope the one who hears it will be encouraged, inspired, enthused (and all the other e and i words that mean "to encourage"). It all boils down to motive. The motive on your part and the motive on the part of the individual who either offers you praise or hears praise from you.
If my motives are wrong and intended to bring something unto myself; any praise I offer will be in vain. It's two fold. If the person whom I pour praises into has ill motives, then the praises are in vain. So what's the point? The point is, there will be no fruit. No yummy, sweet, delicious fruit. No fruit for me, no fruit for the person I offer praise to. Confused?
Ok. Say you have a tree. You water it, but the water has a lot of chemicals. You feed it, but maybe you feed it too much, or with the wrong food. When it's cold, you are too cold and tired to go cover it from the elements. Ya see where I'm going? You want the fruit, but you are unwilling to do the work and your motives are wrong; selfish; lazy. You'd rather have someone else do it for you, while you just watch the tree bloom and produce wonderful fruit for your own enjoyment at the expence of someone else.
Now, what if I know my encouragement will inspire someone to do something for me?
Again, motive. Duh!?
If I am doing it for the benefit of myself at the expense of someone elses heart and hurt, it is wrong. Plain and simple.
But, you ask, what if that person to whom you give praise, enjoys the work they are doing for you as well as the praise you give? Well, good question. Still, my answer is an equal an opposite question; what's your motive?
Whether my man enjoys laboring at his yard work or not is not the question. I know he enjoys it, but others looking in may not know that. My man needs to hear it and know that I mean it. My man needs to be affirmed and reassured in his labor; his work is not in vain.
My motive: To please my man.
His motive: To please me and our children.
If you want others to do the work for you while you enjoy the harvest and the beautiful fruit at the expence of someone elses hard work .... while you may praise them, your praise is unheard and in vain.
Your motive: To please yourself.
My (or the 'others') motive: To please you.
You see, you would be getting all the pleasure at the other persons expence. Yes, that person may enjoy the work they are doing for you; but their motives are just, fair, right. Your motives aren't.
The Bible calls this kind of thing "flattery" and warns us to be careful. See Jude 16, Psalm 12:1-4, Proverbs 26:28, I Thessalonians 2:1-12. Be careful with your words. Those whom you sprinkle flattery on may not even be aware of your intentions. It is unfair to them and not very kind of you; especially if you call yourself a Christ-follower. You should know better. However; there are many among you who are on their guard due to your uncensored flattery. They live by this old adage: Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Being particularly cautious of those who take up the cross and follow Christ. Now that's a shame.
So, what to do .... what to do ....
Seek forgiveness from God. Ask the person whom you have offended to forgive you. Be honest with yourself and with the person whom you have taken advantage of. Maybe it's your spouse, friend, group member, sister, son, daughter; who knows. The fact is, you can't continue riding the feathers of a bird whose wings are breaking. The wings will eventually break and you will both fall. How fast and how hard is up to you.
Do the right thing. Seek forgiveness for your selfishness.
Ask God to cleanse you and give you a pure heart; pure motives.
Hey, we've all been there. It's part of living in a world where God won't walk. It's not that he doesn't want to; in fact that's what Jesus, his son, was for. The sacrifice. The appeasement. The atonement. So, just do it. What are you waiting for? The person you have been taking advantage of may not even be aware of it ... but you are. And that, my friend, makes all the difference.
So, do everyone around you a big, huge, favor and give praise properly, with the right motives. It's a battle for some.
Ask God to shut you up, if you think you can't give proper praise.
Trust me, he'll be glad to. And others will be glad for it.
The trees he planted are still very small; some are only two years old. My husband takes care of his trees because he wants them to one day produce fruit; good fruit. I would like to have the trees produce good fruit as well; however, I don't really have anything to do with the hard work it takes in bearing good fruit. My man does all the work and the children and I will reap the benefits of such work. It's seems logical that he should labor for us; in fact it is Biblical that my man should toil and labor in order to produce and care for this family. This particular toiling and laboring; however, is something my man enjoys. The fruits he will bring us will give him great joy in sharing; he will be proud and I will be so proud of him for his determination and hard work.
I love to watch him work. I love to see him in the backyard fidgetting with the trees and making the stream around them just so; giving them a certain amount of "food" and water, covering them in the cold. It puts a smile on my face as I think and write of it all.
I can't wait to tell my man, "I am so proud of you", "You did a great job with this tree", or "This fruit is amazing". And I know he can't wait to hear it. It is engrained in him to hear the words, "I am so proud of you." He thrives on it.
Truth be told, there are many of us who thrive on the praises of others. But not in a proud, haughty sense; in a natural, longing way. The way in which a child desires the praises of his/her parents when he/she accomplishes the daunting task of tying his/her own shoes for the first time without the help of an unsuspecting sibling.
But what if I never gave my man praise? What if I did not offer acclamations to my son or daughter upon their accomplishments? Would they know I care? Would they learn to seek praise properly? Would they learn to offer praise unto others?
Unfortunately, the answers to those questions are not pleasing to most. If my man never heard praise from me, his ears would be attune to listen to it from anyone; hence one reason men cheat. If my son and daughter never heard me speak over them the praises they need to hear, they would not learn to give praise to others, nor would they have any sense of accomplishment.
Everyone needs to hear "good job" every once in a while, even when it may be undeserving.
Even though your praises may fall on deaf ears. Even if your acclamations go in one ear and out the other. You give praise and hope the one who hears it will be encouraged, inspired, enthused (and all the other e and i words that mean "to encourage"). It all boils down to motive. The motive on your part and the motive on the part of the individual who either offers you praise or hears praise from you.
If my motives are wrong and intended to bring something unto myself; any praise I offer will be in vain. It's two fold. If the person whom I pour praises into has ill motives, then the praises are in vain. So what's the point? The point is, there will be no fruit. No yummy, sweet, delicious fruit. No fruit for me, no fruit for the person I offer praise to. Confused?
Ok. Say you have a tree. You water it, but the water has a lot of chemicals. You feed it, but maybe you feed it too much, or with the wrong food. When it's cold, you are too cold and tired to go cover it from the elements. Ya see where I'm going? You want the fruit, but you are unwilling to do the work and your motives are wrong; selfish; lazy. You'd rather have someone else do it for you, while you just watch the tree bloom and produce wonderful fruit for your own enjoyment at the expence of someone else.
Now, what if I know my encouragement will inspire someone to do something for me?
Again, motive. Duh!?
If I am doing it for the benefit of myself at the expense of someone elses heart and hurt, it is wrong. Plain and simple.
But, you ask, what if that person to whom you give praise, enjoys the work they are doing for you as well as the praise you give? Well, good question. Still, my answer is an equal an opposite question; what's your motive?
Whether my man enjoys laboring at his yard work or not is not the question. I know he enjoys it, but others looking in may not know that. My man needs to hear it and know that I mean it. My man needs to be affirmed and reassured in his labor; his work is not in vain.
My motive: To please my man.
His motive: To please me and our children.
If you want others to do the work for you while you enjoy the harvest and the beautiful fruit at the expence of someone elses hard work .... while you may praise them, your praise is unheard and in vain.
Your motive: To please yourself.
My (or the 'others') motive: To please you.
You see, you would be getting all the pleasure at the other persons expence. Yes, that person may enjoy the work they are doing for you; but their motives are just, fair, right. Your motives aren't.
The Bible calls this kind of thing "flattery" and warns us to be careful. See Jude 16, Psalm 12:1-4, Proverbs 26:28, I Thessalonians 2:1-12. Be careful with your words. Those whom you sprinkle flattery on may not even be aware of your intentions. It is unfair to them and not very kind of you; especially if you call yourself a Christ-follower. You should know better. However; there are many among you who are on their guard due to your uncensored flattery. They live by this old adage: Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Being particularly cautious of those who take up the cross and follow Christ. Now that's a shame.
So, what to do .... what to do ....
Seek forgiveness from God. Ask the person whom you have offended to forgive you. Be honest with yourself and with the person whom you have taken advantage of. Maybe it's your spouse, friend, group member, sister, son, daughter; who knows. The fact is, you can't continue riding the feathers of a bird whose wings are breaking. The wings will eventually break and you will both fall. How fast and how hard is up to you.
Do the right thing. Seek forgiveness for your selfishness.
Ask God to cleanse you and give you a pure heart; pure motives.
Hey, we've all been there. It's part of living in a world where God won't walk. It's not that he doesn't want to; in fact that's what Jesus, his son, was for. The sacrifice. The appeasement. The atonement. So, just do it. What are you waiting for? The person you have been taking advantage of may not even be aware of it ... but you are. And that, my friend, makes all the difference.
So, do everyone around you a big, huge, favor and give praise properly, with the right motives. It's a battle for some.
Ask God to shut you up, if you think you can't give proper praise.
Trust me, he'll be glad to. And others will be glad for it.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Things I Thought I Could Handle
I thought I could handle falling off my bike for the first time, not sucking my thumb, kissing a boy, lying to my parents, being a Mom, living with my husband's snoring. I thought I could handle loving an unloveable child, caring for someone who doesn't care, doing for someone who wouldn't do for me. I thought I could handle understanding other's logic, controling the pain, holding back the tears. Thought I could handle losing my friends, being afraid, and difficult situations. I thought I could handle it all.
I was wrong.
And those are just some of the things I thought I could handle.
Many times, I look at my life and think it's going pretty well, considering. Considering what? Considering lots of things. Loss, hurt, pain, sorrow, you name it.
Last night, I was forced to come to terms with myself. And guess what? I didn't like it.
The terms are still under negotiations, but I can tell you some of them under scrutiny.
One is the fact that I can't make people do what is right for them.
I'd like to. In fact I'd like to give some people a swift kick in the buttocks or ask them to take a long walk off a short peir.
Another is the realization that not everyone has my best interests at heart. All of us have a tendancy to be selfish. Not one of you can say you haven't been a bit selfish lately. Besides what would you do with a pint of your favorite Ben&Jerry's ice cream and a room full of kids. Hide it.... and save it for a quiet night when noone is around; where you can snuggle with your B&J's, a spoon, a banket and a favorite movie. Hey, it's your ice cream, you can do what you want with it, but I bet your first instinct is not to share. Maybe you have your own thing you feel uncomfortable sharing. Mine is Ben&Jerry's ice cream. Get your own.
And yet another realization is that I am not alone in my battle with self. Sometimes I think things that others don't. And when I ask them about it, they are shocked with me for thinking such foolery. Yet I still wonder.....
And still another is doubt. I could go on, but as I said, it is still under negotiation.
I say this because, it is up to me to accept the terms that have been given me.
What terms, you may be thinking.... well, that is a great thought.
The terms I would need to accept these conditions under is "acceptance".
Accept things. As they are.
Accept people. As they are.
Accept situations. As they are.
Accept circumstances. As they are.
That doesn't necessarily mean I don't have choices. It just means I will have to learn to accept things I never thought I needed to before last night. Try to change it as I might, the fact remains, the only person who can change is myself. I can't change the person, the circumstances, the situations, the weather; but I can change me.
You'd think with all that I have gone through I would know that by now. But life has a funny way of showing me how wrong I have been. I'm not at all comfortable with this journey. I am even more aware of how unprepared I am for it; and that is not like me to be unprepared for anything. Can I get a "What! What!"?
What?
What?
For those who know me, I'm always prepared for everything. Yes, everything. Even periods.
Hey, ya never know when someone might need a tampon. Things happen like that, ya know.
I thought everyone was like me..... yet, another realization I have to come to terms with and negotiate over.
I was wrong.
And those are just some of the things I thought I could handle.
Many times, I look at my life and think it's going pretty well, considering. Considering what? Considering lots of things. Loss, hurt, pain, sorrow, you name it.
Last night, I was forced to come to terms with myself. And guess what? I didn't like it.
The terms are still under negotiations, but I can tell you some of them under scrutiny.
One is the fact that I can't make people do what is right for them.
I'd like to. In fact I'd like to give some people a swift kick in the buttocks or ask them to take a long walk off a short peir.
Another is the realization that not everyone has my best interests at heart. All of us have a tendancy to be selfish. Not one of you can say you haven't been a bit selfish lately. Besides what would you do with a pint of your favorite Ben&Jerry's ice cream and a room full of kids. Hide it.... and save it for a quiet night when noone is around; where you can snuggle with your B&J's, a spoon, a banket and a favorite movie. Hey, it's your ice cream, you can do what you want with it, but I bet your first instinct is not to share. Maybe you have your own thing you feel uncomfortable sharing. Mine is Ben&Jerry's ice cream. Get your own.
And yet another realization is that I am not alone in my battle with self. Sometimes I think things that others don't. And when I ask them about it, they are shocked with me for thinking such foolery. Yet I still wonder.....
And still another is doubt. I could go on, but as I said, it is still under negotiation.
I say this because, it is up to me to accept the terms that have been given me.
What terms, you may be thinking.... well, that is a great thought.
The terms I would need to accept these conditions under is "acceptance".
Accept things. As they are.
Accept people. As they are.
Accept situations. As they are.
Accept circumstances. As they are.
That doesn't necessarily mean I don't have choices. It just means I will have to learn to accept things I never thought I needed to before last night. Try to change it as I might, the fact remains, the only person who can change is myself. I can't change the person, the circumstances, the situations, the weather; but I can change me.
You'd think with all that I have gone through I would know that by now. But life has a funny way of showing me how wrong I have been. I'm not at all comfortable with this journey. I am even more aware of how unprepared I am for it; and that is not like me to be unprepared for anything. Can I get a "What! What!"?
What?
What?
For those who know me, I'm always prepared for everything. Yes, everything. Even periods.
Hey, ya never know when someone might need a tampon. Things happen like that, ya know.
I thought everyone was like me..... yet, another realization I have to come to terms with and negotiate over.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
King David and The Queen Jessy
I betcha'd like to know what that title's all about wouldn't ya?
Well, I'll tell ya. King David wrote most of the book of Psalms (that's a book in the Bible, for those of you who didn't know). He had a lot of issues with injustice and why the wicked were so fortunate in their circumstances. I gotta tell ya, I'm having some issues.....
One of my issues is with injustice, not so much with the wicked prospering (for now anyway).
I have been working on this group project. And for those of you who know me, I strive for perfection and have great difficulty dealing with those who don't, or rather do, but hope others will do all the working hard for them so they won't have to (and still get the credit for it). Needless to say, I have been a little perplexed and upset about it the last six and a half weeks. Praying was not exactly top priority for me. It was more like ordering. Well, no.... actually demanding.
I have been demanding God to "Fix it ... Now". It's not fair that there are some of us who are working and sacrificing while others are going about their lives the same as always not even trying to understand what is going on. It's frustrating, annoying and down right unfair! And to top it all off, we will share the same grade.
What are the alternatives? Turn in the work that is not up to par and accept a lower grade to teach the person a lesson. Ouch. Would it work? What if the person is ok with a "C" or even a "D" or oh, boy, this is gonnna hurt, ... an (gulp) an ... "F". Could I or the group accept this?
I know I couldn't. Could you? Would you?
Now, I don't mind helping someone who needs help. Even if I think this person doesn't deserve it. I do it because I think it is expected of me. Why, you ask? I'm not sure. I think it's been ingrained in me to help others. Even when I don't want to or think they deserve it. It's really not about what they deserve. I mean, I would like to think they would help me if I needed it. But that's not why I do it either. However, in this case - I really have to ask myself - would they help me if I really needed it? Or would they pass me by? My gut tells me I would probably be passed by; not by all the members of the group. The person would probably think, "What!? The Jessy doesn't understand something? She must be joking?" No, seriously, they would. Wouldn't you? Come on .... I know you would think the same way.... That is, if you knew me.
That's one of the reasons I feel I have been unfairly treated; besides the fact that hard work has been done by others and the person who has done little is going to get the same grade as those of us who have worked hard and gone above and beyond to get an "A". I mean, isn't that the point? Getting an "A", I mean.
People, my familiy included, seem to think I am some kind of superwoman. Well, I'm no Karyn White, either. Even though I may portray an image that I can handle most anything, I really can't. It is because of this image, I believe people choose to dump on me. As it relates to this group project, people seem to think that they can get away with out doing much because, "The Jessy knows what she's doing, so she'll pick up the slack for me." That may very well be true, but you'd be wrong in assuming I enjoy it. As I stated earlier, I like to help others, but not when the only reason they want my help is to make their lives easier, or to get themselves a better grade than they could have gotten on their own.
Now that's injustice. That is unfair and altogether poopa-doop.
Now, I mentioned earlier that I demanded God to do something about it... like, Now. We all know that God's idea of Now and our idea of Now are two very different ideas. Ya see, my idea of Now, would have been after the first week of injustice, not the sixth and a half week of it. But, hey, who am I?
Sooouuuh, this morning I get this email from Bobb Biehl:
God's Student
"If you feel misused, abused, or taken advantage of today - you may be seeing yourself as a victim. When we are victimized, we can focus on the wrong another person has done to us. This path is negative and destructive. When we focus here, it will keep us focused on the past, and will eventually turn us into very bitter, negative, fearful people.
Or, we can look for the 'life lessons' we learned as a result of the wrong someone has done. This path is positive and constructive. It lets the wound heal, and we can move beyond the past and into the future. See yourself as God’s student, not life’s victim."
So, thank you, God. You see the big picture, you know the thoughts and feelings of everyone in this group. You know the hearts and the sentiments. You know our nature and it is not altogether good. So, I thank you, God, for not always coming to my rescue Now, but rather making me go through the muck and guck of it all. I got dirty on this one and I am sure it won't be the last time; but I do know this: I will be extremely cautious the next time I hear, "I want to be in Jessy's group." echo in the distance.
Teach on, God, I'll be waiting ... and watching.
Well, I'll tell ya. King David wrote most of the book of Psalms (that's a book in the Bible, for those of you who didn't know). He had a lot of issues with injustice and why the wicked were so fortunate in their circumstances. I gotta tell ya, I'm having some issues.....
One of my issues is with injustice, not so much with the wicked prospering (for now anyway).
I have been working on this group project. And for those of you who know me, I strive for perfection and have great difficulty dealing with those who don't, or rather do, but hope others will do all the working hard for them so they won't have to (and still get the credit for it). Needless to say, I have been a little perplexed and upset about it the last six and a half weeks. Praying was not exactly top priority for me. It was more like ordering. Well, no.... actually demanding.
I have been demanding God to "Fix it ... Now". It's not fair that there are some of us who are working and sacrificing while others are going about their lives the same as always not even trying to understand what is going on. It's frustrating, annoying and down right unfair! And to top it all off, we will share the same grade.
What are the alternatives? Turn in the work that is not up to par and accept a lower grade to teach the person a lesson. Ouch. Would it work? What if the person is ok with a "C" or even a "D" or oh, boy, this is gonnna hurt, ... an (gulp) an ... "F". Could I or the group accept this?
I know I couldn't. Could you? Would you?
Now, I don't mind helping someone who needs help. Even if I think this person doesn't deserve it. I do it because I think it is expected of me. Why, you ask? I'm not sure. I think it's been ingrained in me to help others. Even when I don't want to or think they deserve it. It's really not about what they deserve. I mean, I would like to think they would help me if I needed it. But that's not why I do it either. However, in this case - I really have to ask myself - would they help me if I really needed it? Or would they pass me by? My gut tells me I would probably be passed by; not by all the members of the group. The person would probably think, "What!? The Jessy doesn't understand something? She must be joking?" No, seriously, they would. Wouldn't you? Come on .... I know you would think the same way.... That is, if you knew me.
That's one of the reasons I feel I have been unfairly treated; besides the fact that hard work has been done by others and the person who has done little is going to get the same grade as those of us who have worked hard and gone above and beyond to get an "A". I mean, isn't that the point? Getting an "A", I mean.
People, my familiy included, seem to think I am some kind of superwoman. Well, I'm no Karyn White, either. Even though I may portray an image that I can handle most anything, I really can't. It is because of this image, I believe people choose to dump on me. As it relates to this group project, people seem to think that they can get away with out doing much because, "The Jessy knows what she's doing, so she'll pick up the slack for me." That may very well be true, but you'd be wrong in assuming I enjoy it. As I stated earlier, I like to help others, but not when the only reason they want my help is to make their lives easier, or to get themselves a better grade than they could have gotten on their own.
Now that's injustice. That is unfair and altogether poopa-doop.
Now, I mentioned earlier that I demanded God to do something about it... like, Now. We all know that God's idea of Now and our idea of Now are two very different ideas. Ya see, my idea of Now, would have been after the first week of injustice, not the sixth and a half week of it. But, hey, who am I?
Sooouuuh, this morning I get this email from Bobb Biehl:
God's Student
"If you feel misused, abused, or taken advantage of today - you may be seeing yourself as a victim. When we are victimized, we can focus on the wrong another person has done to us. This path is negative and destructive. When we focus here, it will keep us focused on the past, and will eventually turn us into very bitter, negative, fearful people.
Or, we can look for the 'life lessons' we learned as a result of the wrong someone has done. This path is positive and constructive. It lets the wound heal, and we can move beyond the past and into the future. See yourself as God’s student, not life’s victim."
So, thank you, God. You see the big picture, you know the thoughts and feelings of everyone in this group. You know the hearts and the sentiments. You know our nature and it is not altogether good. So, I thank you, God, for not always coming to my rescue Now, but rather making me go through the muck and guck of it all. I got dirty on this one and I am sure it won't be the last time; but I do know this: I will be extremely cautious the next time I hear, "I want to be in Jessy's group." echo in the distance.
Teach on, God, I'll be waiting ... and watching.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Feelings... La lalala Feelings...
Feelings. Happy, sad, scared, mad, glad, ticked, mushy, icky, jealous, angry, gushy, and the list goes on and on and on. But how bout the feelings passionate, excited, motivated, failure.
Are those feelings or just things we convince ourselves about in order to keep us on track?
I am in grad school for counseling psychology. It's only my second semester but I gotta tell you, I feel like quitting. It's not that I can't do it, but I just don't feel like it anymore.
Ever been there?
My husband and I homeschool our two kids. There are many times when all of us don't feel like homeschooling. So what keeps us going? For me, it's the sense of security, knowing my kids are safe with me at home. However, this year has been the most challenging.
Don't get me wrong, we all love being home together, the breaks we get, the work we accomplish, but we are all reaching a point of being tired, spent. I can see it in my children's work and their attitudes regarding school. But hang-on.... does that mean give up and quit? Surely not.
Here's the thing. I am committed to my children and their education, but my committment to them can only go as far as our desire for their education. I am commmitted to graduating from PBA, but my committment can only go as far as my desire for it. So, what feeds my desire to educate, and continue grad school? Acheivement and success. When I feel successful and a sense of acheivement, I want to continue. Same with my kids.
Do I feel a sense of acheivement and success? No. Not with my children or my education. I feel like a failure. My daughter is way, way behind and will be held back this year, my son has taken second grade twice; although the second time around has been a vast improvement, I still feel as though I failed him. However, this is the first time in years I've witness failure with regards to my daughter and school. I am very sad. Sad that she gave up, sad that she lost sight of her goal, sad that she made poor choices.
Why would this cause me to want to surrender my own education? Good question.
I feel like a failure. That sense of failure is like an electric blanket that keeps me warm on a cold night. It covers all. But is it true? Auh. Now that's an even better question.
Truth. My daughter is going to fail 7th grade and because I am her teacher, I feel as though it is my fault. Enter truth. We had an agreement, a pact. She failed to meet it. So, it is my fault? No. But what's to prevent me from feeling this way. Truth. That's all there is. The truth is she did not take her education seriously, she chose to play when she should have been studying. She chose to day dream when she should have been working. She chose to deceive rather than face the truth. That hurts me because I love her so much and want to see her be successful. I am sad because I trusted her and thought she was going to be responsible. I was wrong and feel as though it is my fault for giving her responsibility she wasn't ready for.
But hang on.... As a parent, is it not my job to monitor and set limits and monitor some more in order to gadge the level of trust and responsibility? Uh, that would be affirmative. I spent a long time in prayer and gave her responsibility for what I knew she could handle. She had proven her level of responsibility to me through three years of homeschooling. It had steadily been on the rise. We talked it over, made agreements with each other and it was all said and done.
It reminds me of going to the doctors and you find out you have a heart condition and the only remedy is a healthy diet and moderate exercise. The doctor tells you what you need, you agree and then leave. Now, you are on your own. You know what you should do, but are you going to do it. You are responsible enough to do it, so will you? Will it be easy? No. But that's not the point. The point is this: Do you want to live or die.
As it relates to my daughter, does she want to pass or fail? Apparently, she would rather fail. Question. Is it the doctor's fault, then when you return for your check-up and your conditions have worsened and now you need a transplant? Of course not. You chose to live your life the way you wanted it, to have fun and play; while sacrificing your health.
Question. Is it my fault then, when my daughter returns for her evaluation and she shows me little work. No, of course not. She chose to live her life the way she wants it and have fun and play; while sacrificing her education.
The trouble isn't with me knowing that it is not my fault, the trouble is with feeling that it is not my fault. I didn't fail her. She failed herself. That doesn't make me feel any better.
Now, should I give up my education because my daughter will repeat 7th grade?
Of course not. I'd be an idiot. But it doesn't change the feel of it. I am committed to my education and I am committed to my children's education. Should I then take them out of school completely because they have failed. It's called truancy ... and No! I like staying out of jail, thank-you. Failure happens. It does not define who we are or what we are. It just means we failed. It doesn't mean I am a failure, it just means that my daughter failed 7th grade. If is sounds like I am still trying to convince myself that it isn't my fault somehow, you would be correct in your assertions.
I will still be their teacher and their mom and their biggest cheerleader.
No matter where they are.
I will still feel like I have failed them from time to time.
No matter where they are.
I guess that's why they call it parenting. But that's a whole nother bolg ... stay tuned.
Are those feelings or just things we convince ourselves about in order to keep us on track?
I am in grad school for counseling psychology. It's only my second semester but I gotta tell you, I feel like quitting. It's not that I can't do it, but I just don't feel like it anymore.
Ever been there?
My husband and I homeschool our two kids. There are many times when all of us don't feel like homeschooling. So what keeps us going? For me, it's the sense of security, knowing my kids are safe with me at home. However, this year has been the most challenging.
Don't get me wrong, we all love being home together, the breaks we get, the work we accomplish, but we are all reaching a point of being tired, spent. I can see it in my children's work and their attitudes regarding school. But hang-on.... does that mean give up and quit? Surely not.
Here's the thing. I am committed to my children and their education, but my committment to them can only go as far as our desire for their education. I am commmitted to graduating from PBA, but my committment can only go as far as my desire for it. So, what feeds my desire to educate, and continue grad school? Acheivement and success. When I feel successful and a sense of acheivement, I want to continue. Same with my kids.
Do I feel a sense of acheivement and success? No. Not with my children or my education. I feel like a failure. My daughter is way, way behind and will be held back this year, my son has taken second grade twice; although the second time around has been a vast improvement, I still feel as though I failed him. However, this is the first time in years I've witness failure with regards to my daughter and school. I am very sad. Sad that she gave up, sad that she lost sight of her goal, sad that she made poor choices.
Why would this cause me to want to surrender my own education? Good question.
I feel like a failure. That sense of failure is like an electric blanket that keeps me warm on a cold night. It covers all. But is it true? Auh. Now that's an even better question.
Truth. My daughter is going to fail 7th grade and because I am her teacher, I feel as though it is my fault. Enter truth. We had an agreement, a pact. She failed to meet it. So, it is my fault? No. But what's to prevent me from feeling this way. Truth. That's all there is. The truth is she did not take her education seriously, she chose to play when she should have been studying. She chose to day dream when she should have been working. She chose to deceive rather than face the truth. That hurts me because I love her so much and want to see her be successful. I am sad because I trusted her and thought she was going to be responsible. I was wrong and feel as though it is my fault for giving her responsibility she wasn't ready for.
But hang on.... As a parent, is it not my job to monitor and set limits and monitor some more in order to gadge the level of trust and responsibility? Uh, that would be affirmative. I spent a long time in prayer and gave her responsibility for what I knew she could handle. She had proven her level of responsibility to me through three years of homeschooling. It had steadily been on the rise. We talked it over, made agreements with each other and it was all said and done.
It reminds me of going to the doctors and you find out you have a heart condition and the only remedy is a healthy diet and moderate exercise. The doctor tells you what you need, you agree and then leave. Now, you are on your own. You know what you should do, but are you going to do it. You are responsible enough to do it, so will you? Will it be easy? No. But that's not the point. The point is this: Do you want to live or die.
As it relates to my daughter, does she want to pass or fail? Apparently, she would rather fail. Question. Is it the doctor's fault, then when you return for your check-up and your conditions have worsened and now you need a transplant? Of course not. You chose to live your life the way you wanted it, to have fun and play; while sacrificing your health.
Question. Is it my fault then, when my daughter returns for her evaluation and she shows me little work. No, of course not. She chose to live her life the way she wants it and have fun and play; while sacrificing her education.
The trouble isn't with me knowing that it is not my fault, the trouble is with feeling that it is not my fault. I didn't fail her. She failed herself. That doesn't make me feel any better.
Now, should I give up my education because my daughter will repeat 7th grade?
Of course not. I'd be an idiot. But it doesn't change the feel of it. I am committed to my education and I am committed to my children's education. Should I then take them out of school completely because they have failed. It's called truancy ... and No! I like staying out of jail, thank-you. Failure happens. It does not define who we are or what we are. It just means we failed. It doesn't mean I am a failure, it just means that my daughter failed 7th grade. If is sounds like I am still trying to convince myself that it isn't my fault somehow, you would be correct in your assertions.
I will still be their teacher and their mom and their biggest cheerleader.
No matter where they are.
I will still feel like I have failed them from time to time.
No matter where they are.
I guess that's why they call it parenting. But that's a whole nother bolg ... stay tuned.
Monday, February 18, 2008
I Dont' Feel So Good
Ever have one of those days where the bed and the bathroom have become your new best friends? Mine was yesterday. Yes, thank you, it was most enjoyable. I would; however, like to make a suggestion to the makers of "The John": include a reachable flushing device.
I needn't say more.
Today, I feel better; that is to say, I have given the two bff's a break from me. Too much together time with a bff can cause some stress; let alone two bff's. One would argue over who was having the most time with me; it's wasn't enjoyable. Especially when one bff is cold and hard and the other makes you hot and sweaty. They don't mean to be that way, it's just how they are.
One comfort through this was my man. I love my man. I mean, who is their right mind would cater to a whiny, sweaty, hot and ornery person all day? He rubbed my back, cuddled me, played with my hair, let me turn the fan on and freeze so I would be comfortable, let me twitch and fuss to find the right spot to lay my head down. What a sweet guy. What a pal. What a bff.
My man is my all time best friend. He knows when I am worn out, tired, at my best, my worst, sad, happy, stressed and PMS'd. He knows when to be quiet, as most men should, and when to speak (at least when I am sick); can't say he's good at it all the time; but he tries. He looks out for me, takes care of me, holds my hand, carries my bags, walks me to the car, let's me sleep in, washes the car, prays for me, and he makes being sick, not so bad.
I can tell my man anything and he loves me anyway. I can cry and he holds me. I can be angry and he still cares for me. I can look like the night of the living dead and he still wants me. I can lose it all and he would be with me. He stands by me. What a man.
It reminds me a lot of God's love for me. No matter what I say or do; no matter how I feel or act; no matter how I look, God loves me. God will always love me. As healthy or as sick as I may be, he will never leave me. He will always be with me. He stands by me. What a God.
I pray you can say this about your bff's, your man and most importantly, your God.
If, not, I pray the opportunity would arise for you to experience God like never before. May he open the eyes of your heart to witness things around you as you've never seen.
I needn't say more.
Today, I feel better; that is to say, I have given the two bff's a break from me. Too much together time with a bff can cause some stress; let alone two bff's. One would argue over who was having the most time with me; it's wasn't enjoyable. Especially when one bff is cold and hard and the other makes you hot and sweaty. They don't mean to be that way, it's just how they are.
One comfort through this was my man. I love my man. I mean, who is their right mind would cater to a whiny, sweaty, hot and ornery person all day? He rubbed my back, cuddled me, played with my hair, let me turn the fan on and freeze so I would be comfortable, let me twitch and fuss to find the right spot to lay my head down. What a sweet guy. What a pal. What a bff.
My man is my all time best friend. He knows when I am worn out, tired, at my best, my worst, sad, happy, stressed and PMS'd. He knows when to be quiet, as most men should, and when to speak (at least when I am sick); can't say he's good at it all the time; but he tries. He looks out for me, takes care of me, holds my hand, carries my bags, walks me to the car, let's me sleep in, washes the car, prays for me, and he makes being sick, not so bad.
I can tell my man anything and he loves me anyway. I can cry and he holds me. I can be angry and he still cares for me. I can look like the night of the living dead and he still wants me. I can lose it all and he would be with me. He stands by me. What a man.
It reminds me a lot of God's love for me. No matter what I say or do; no matter how I feel or act; no matter how I look, God loves me. God will always love me. As healthy or as sick as I may be, he will never leave me. He will always be with me. He stands by me. What a God.
I pray you can say this about your bff's, your man and most importantly, your God.
If, not, I pray the opportunity would arise for you to experience God like never before. May he open the eyes of your heart to witness things around you as you've never seen.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
You Can't Always Get What You Want ... but hang on...
Have you ever met someone who thinks they are entitled?
Ya know, the person who thinks they can cut in line in front of you and you won't mind. Or the person who thinks it's okay to smoke in the no smoking area; when there's a designated smoking area within 25 feet. Or the person who thinks it's okay to be in the 10 items or less line with a buggy full of groceries and you're behind them with a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread. Or the person who thinks it's okay to park in the handicap spot; they may have a sticker, but you know they aren't anymore handicap than you are on a bad day. Or the person who parks in the fire lane and blocks the traffic in and out of the parking lot while they wait for their kids to get out of school all because parking the car would take too much time.
I know you've met one or two, perhaps you've even been one or two.
Doesn't it just get your goat?
If we were kids on a playgroud and had certain rules to follow, I betcha one of those entitled individuals would be beating erasers after school.
But we're not kids any more.
Or are we?
I've been wondering ... those who I've been observing lately who walk around with a huge "entitlement" sign attached to their foreheads (and some on their derrière). You know what I've witnessed? You really want to know?
It's like watching a spoiled child. Ya know the ones we all shake our heads at when we see them and say an extra prayer for the parent.
Yeah, those kids. The brats. The whiners. The complainers. The snots. The ones you always wanted to push down the slide at recess ... or knock their lights out ...
I see a lot of grown-ups acting this way. I have even seen it in myself. Ick. Blah. What an awful reminder of how badly we need to be spanked. Spiritually butt kicked.
You don't know how badly I want to just scream sometimes at the complacency of it all. Have we come so far as to continue to allow this nonsense?
Just as a parent would not continue to spoil their child for their own sakes, why do we continue to spoil our society into thinking it's okay to take what you want; it's okay to hurt someone's feelings; it's okay to cheat, lie, steal, budge, or annoy as long as you get what you deserve.
But we all know what every spoiled child needs. .... ...
Be nice. I know what you're thinking and I wasn't going to suggest that.
They need love and a sence of security. They need to know that even though they may not be getting what they want, it doesn't mean they aren't loved or safe.
The trouble is, it doesn't seem to work with spoiled, entitled adults.
In fact, I dare you to try. See what kind of results you get.
I am willing to bet you will get a series of excuses as to why they think they are entitled, no matter what you suggest. And try telling them their excuses are the craddle which Satan rocks them to sleep.
So, what to do ... what to do ...
To be honest, I really don't know. I can tell you what I'd like to do (or say), but it wouldn't be very lady like. Or for that matter very Christian like.
And that brings me to another important point that I left out. These spoiled, rotten, entitled adults I've wittnessed recently are Christians. Yep. All of them.
So, what to do ... what to do ...
Now that's a whole new spin on it isn't it?
Are we not supposed to be lights? Can darkness and light share the same space?
I think the problem is this, plain and simple.
We Christians, myself included at times, truly believe we are entitled.
"It's a Christian school and I'm a teacher here, so I'm allowed to park in the fire lane and wait for my kids. In fact, I'm allowed to leave my car here all day if I so choose. What can they do?"
Or, "There was no one in this express lane and the cashier didn't say anything, so too bad. Besides, I'm in a hurry. You won't mind waiting."
How bout this one, "I'm always late. It's just my nature. You understand."
Those of us who do this think we're "allowed", others think we're arrogant, pompous.
Not a very nice message we're sending.
Listen, people, one hyphenated word you know well ....
GROW-UP! (Hebrews 5:11-6:1)
You're supposed to be mature Christians, not spoiled, bratty, entitled, whiny babies.
Some of you are still suckin on your baba, or your bobo, and pooping in your pants, expecting others around you to clean up and understand. And some are even crawling around with their receiving blankets and thumbs in their mouths.
Listen, just because you are a Christian doesn't entitle you to whatever you think you deserve.
Because quite honestly, you don't deserve anything.
Now, put your bobos away, set your blankets down, get your thumbs out of your mouths and stop, for pete's sake, pooping in your pants.
You are to be mature. Act more like it. Make yourself presentable to those who may not even know you are a Christian. Because if they see what I see, they may not want to hear anything about your God, or your faith, or your church, no matter how great you think it is.
Trust me. I've been on the other end of what I'm saying.
If you see what I see and really see it, you wouldn't listen to you either. I wouldn't listen to me.
People are watching you. God is watching you.
Don't you care about the image you are portraying?
Don't you want to draw people to Him?
Or would you rather people despise you and what you represent?
Or better yet, would you rather have them say you're just like all the rest?
I don't. And I've been just like all the rest.
I don't want to go back.
Please stop being so childish.
Put your big boy or big girl pants on and grow up.
Ya know, the person who thinks they can cut in line in front of you and you won't mind. Or the person who thinks it's okay to smoke in the no smoking area; when there's a designated smoking area within 25 feet. Or the person who thinks it's okay to be in the 10 items or less line with a buggy full of groceries and you're behind them with a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread. Or the person who thinks it's okay to park in the handicap spot; they may have a sticker, but you know they aren't anymore handicap than you are on a bad day. Or the person who parks in the fire lane and blocks the traffic in and out of the parking lot while they wait for their kids to get out of school all because parking the car would take too much time.
I know you've met one or two, perhaps you've even been one or two.
Doesn't it just get your goat?
If we were kids on a playgroud and had certain rules to follow, I betcha one of those entitled individuals would be beating erasers after school.
But we're not kids any more.
Or are we?
I've been wondering ... those who I've been observing lately who walk around with a huge "entitlement" sign attached to their foreheads (and some on their derrière). You know what I've witnessed? You really want to know?
It's like watching a spoiled child. Ya know the ones we all shake our heads at when we see them and say an extra prayer for the parent.
Yeah, those kids. The brats. The whiners. The complainers. The snots. The ones you always wanted to push down the slide at recess ... or knock their lights out ...
I see a lot of grown-ups acting this way. I have even seen it in myself. Ick. Blah. What an awful reminder of how badly we need to be spanked. Spiritually butt kicked.
You don't know how badly I want to just scream sometimes at the complacency of it all. Have we come so far as to continue to allow this nonsense?
Just as a parent would not continue to spoil their child for their own sakes, why do we continue to spoil our society into thinking it's okay to take what you want; it's okay to hurt someone's feelings; it's okay to cheat, lie, steal, budge, or annoy as long as you get what you deserve.
But we all know what every spoiled child needs. .... ...
Be nice. I know what you're thinking and I wasn't going to suggest that.
They need love and a sence of security. They need to know that even though they may not be getting what they want, it doesn't mean they aren't loved or safe.
The trouble is, it doesn't seem to work with spoiled, entitled adults.
In fact, I dare you to try. See what kind of results you get.
I am willing to bet you will get a series of excuses as to why they think they are entitled, no matter what you suggest. And try telling them their excuses are the craddle which Satan rocks them to sleep.
So, what to do ... what to do ...
To be honest, I really don't know. I can tell you what I'd like to do (or say), but it wouldn't be very lady like. Or for that matter very Christian like.
And that brings me to another important point that I left out. These spoiled, rotten, entitled adults I've wittnessed recently are Christians. Yep. All of them.
So, what to do ... what to do ...
Now that's a whole new spin on it isn't it?
Are we not supposed to be lights? Can darkness and light share the same space?
I think the problem is this, plain and simple.
We Christians, myself included at times, truly believe we are entitled.
"It's a Christian school and I'm a teacher here, so I'm allowed to park in the fire lane and wait for my kids. In fact, I'm allowed to leave my car here all day if I so choose. What can they do?"
Or, "There was no one in this express lane and the cashier didn't say anything, so too bad. Besides, I'm in a hurry. You won't mind waiting."
How bout this one, "I'm always late. It's just my nature. You understand."
Those of us who do this think we're "allowed", others think we're arrogant, pompous.
Not a very nice message we're sending.
Listen, people, one hyphenated word you know well ....
GROW-UP! (Hebrews 5:11-6:1)
You're supposed to be mature Christians, not spoiled, bratty, entitled, whiny babies.
Some of you are still suckin on your baba, or your bobo, and pooping in your pants, expecting others around you to clean up and understand. And some are even crawling around with their receiving blankets and thumbs in their mouths.
Listen, just because you are a Christian doesn't entitle you to whatever you think you deserve.
Because quite honestly, you don't deserve anything.
Now, put your bobos away, set your blankets down, get your thumbs out of your mouths and stop, for pete's sake, pooping in your pants.
You are to be mature. Act more like it. Make yourself presentable to those who may not even know you are a Christian. Because if they see what I see, they may not want to hear anything about your God, or your faith, or your church, no matter how great you think it is.
Trust me. I've been on the other end of what I'm saying.
If you see what I see and really see it, you wouldn't listen to you either. I wouldn't listen to me.
People are watching you. God is watching you.
Don't you care about the image you are portraying?
Don't you want to draw people to Him?
Or would you rather people despise you and what you represent?
Or better yet, would you rather have them say you're just like all the rest?
I don't. And I've been just like all the rest.
I don't want to go back.
Please stop being so childish.
Put your big boy or big girl pants on and grow up.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Monkey in the Middle
I love that game. The power of being the person outside throwing the ball over the head or over the side of the "monkey in the middle". Now if you've never played the game you are truly missing out. It's a three person or more game, with one person in the center and everyone on the outer circle, keeps the ball away from the person in the middle. The object of the person in the middle is to finally catch the ball. When the ball is caught by the person in the middle, the person who threw the ball becomes the "monkey in the middle".
Oh, it's a most fabulous game. You must play it.
The worst part is actually being the monkey. That feeling of being left out, unable to get the ball and everyone around you taunting and laughing at all your attempts to catch the ball. They may even trick you by looking as though you are about to throw it in one direction, only to end up throwing it in an entirely new direction, forcing you to remain in the middle.
Drats and double drats.
Although, I have just discribed a very fun, energetic and highly competitive game, there are times in my life when I feel like the monkey in the middle always trying to catch the ball and failing; only to be taunted and laughed at. I try so hard to catch the damn ball and can't ever reach it. Either because someone tricks me and throws it in the opposite direction from which he/she is looking, or someone else throws it so high above me, it is a mathmatical impossibility for me to catch it; let alone a physical impossibility, leaving me to feel left out and unsuccessful.
If I sound a bit aggitated, it's because I am. I try hard in life to catch the ball, to reach higher, to strive for excellence, only to feel left out and discouraged. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't always happen, there are times, when I catch the ball and someone else gets the torture of being in the middle; however, if always seems like they're never in the middle very long before they catch the ball I've thrown and I am back in the middle again.
So, what to do, what to do. ... curse, punch a wall, scream in a pillow, yell at the cat .... ?
The answer is ... drum roll please .... .... .... .... brrr brrr brrr ... patience, understanding, relativity, and prayer.
Why patience? Well, because everything in life involves some level of patience. My least favorite term and place to visit. Understanding, because I need to understand what I am in the middle for. There is a reason and a season for everything under heaven. Relativity, because, well, everything is relative. I won't always be in the middle and at least being in the middle will teach me what it is like for somene else who may end up in the middle. Prayer, because God commands that I take all my concerns to him because he cares about me. He may not reveal things to me the way I would like, but there is reassurance in the fact that he cares. Maybe not a whole lot of reassurance when I've been in the middle for over an hour, but enough. Prayer also, because he knows when I am broken. And there are times in my life, as well as yours, when being in the middle has broken you. God is near to the broken hearted. Being broken is a good place to be.
NOT a fun place, but a good place.
For me, perhaps, it's a good starting place.
Starting because, I don't know what I am supposed to learn from this game.
Starting because I am so used to playing games like this with God and keeping the ball away from him, rather than giving him the ball ... and I don't think he hesitates in keeping me in the middle to teach me a thing or two ...
So .... eeeee ... ooooo.... eeee..oo..eee...oooo (scratching arm pits) eee...ooooo ..... eeee (eating bugs and bananas) I'll continue to be the monkey in the middle for as long as it takes to actually catch the ball without pride, resentment, hostility, bitterness, anger or fear. I have to be willing to let God do with me what he sees fit for me, not tell God what I think is well fit for me and expect him to move and get me out of the middle. I need to be humble and confident.
Humble, because, as I have recently learned (again) because I can't do it alone, as I have a tendency to think I can; and confident because I know he is able. I can do nothing without him. For he is the vine and I am the branches, if I am not a part of him, I will not be successful. I can do nothing without him. Nothing. I need to rest in that. Truly rest. ... and be content in my current monkey in the middle situation.
Oh, it's a most fabulous game. You must play it.
The worst part is actually being the monkey. That feeling of being left out, unable to get the ball and everyone around you taunting and laughing at all your attempts to catch the ball. They may even trick you by looking as though you are about to throw it in one direction, only to end up throwing it in an entirely new direction, forcing you to remain in the middle.
Drats and double drats.
Although, I have just discribed a very fun, energetic and highly competitive game, there are times in my life when I feel like the monkey in the middle always trying to catch the ball and failing; only to be taunted and laughed at. I try so hard to catch the damn ball and can't ever reach it. Either because someone tricks me and throws it in the opposite direction from which he/she is looking, or someone else throws it so high above me, it is a mathmatical impossibility for me to catch it; let alone a physical impossibility, leaving me to feel left out and unsuccessful.
If I sound a bit aggitated, it's because I am. I try hard in life to catch the ball, to reach higher, to strive for excellence, only to feel left out and discouraged. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't always happen, there are times, when I catch the ball and someone else gets the torture of being in the middle; however, if always seems like they're never in the middle very long before they catch the ball I've thrown and I am back in the middle again.
So, what to do, what to do. ... curse, punch a wall, scream in a pillow, yell at the cat .... ?
The answer is ... drum roll please .... .... .... .... brrr brrr brrr ... patience, understanding, relativity, and prayer.
Why patience? Well, because everything in life involves some level of patience. My least favorite term and place to visit. Understanding, because I need to understand what I am in the middle for. There is a reason and a season for everything under heaven. Relativity, because, well, everything is relative. I won't always be in the middle and at least being in the middle will teach me what it is like for somene else who may end up in the middle. Prayer, because God commands that I take all my concerns to him because he cares about me. He may not reveal things to me the way I would like, but there is reassurance in the fact that he cares. Maybe not a whole lot of reassurance when I've been in the middle for over an hour, but enough. Prayer also, because he knows when I am broken. And there are times in my life, as well as yours, when being in the middle has broken you. God is near to the broken hearted. Being broken is a good place to be.
NOT a fun place, but a good place.
For me, perhaps, it's a good starting place.
Starting because, I don't know what I am supposed to learn from this game.
Starting because I am so used to playing games like this with God and keeping the ball away from him, rather than giving him the ball ... and I don't think he hesitates in keeping me in the middle to teach me a thing or two ...
So .... eeeee ... ooooo.... eeee..oo..eee...oooo (scratching arm pits) eee...ooooo ..... eeee (eating bugs and bananas) I'll continue to be the monkey in the middle for as long as it takes to actually catch the ball without pride, resentment, hostility, bitterness, anger or fear. I have to be willing to let God do with me what he sees fit for me, not tell God what I think is well fit for me and expect him to move and get me out of the middle. I need to be humble and confident.
Humble, because, as I have recently learned (again) because I can't do it alone, as I have a tendency to think I can; and confident because I know he is able. I can do nothing without him. For he is the vine and I am the branches, if I am not a part of him, I will not be successful. I can do nothing without him. Nothing. I need to rest in that. Truly rest. ... and be content in my current monkey in the middle situation.
Monday, February 11, 2008
The Wax Museum
If you've ever been to a museum, you've seen wax creations of some sort. Some of them look so incredably real, you actually want to touch it just to be sure.
After Sunday's message at C3, I realized, I could be one of those wax creations and you wouldn't even know it. I would look real, but you'd have to actually get real close and "touch" me to actually find out. I'm not always a wax statue. I can morphe into a real person when I feel comfortable or safe.
I almost reminds me of the 1987 movie "Mannequin" wih Andrew McArthy. His character designs mannequins and later, to his surprise, one of his creations came to life. However, she only came to life around him, no one else.
Odd. But the sad reality of it is there are those of us who are mannequins and perform the jobs that are expected of us night and day; to only be our true selves in the presencof those around us who are safe.
But is it always necessary to become ones self only in the presence of that safe person, or can growth and healing come when we reveal our identity to those around us. Would there be any real danger? Would we truly be exposed for the fakes that we believe ourselves to be? Would we be just as safe as we would with our one true love as the mannequin was with Andrew McArthy's character?
I think, in the end, it's alright to reveal ourselves at the appropriate times to certain individuals who may help us to feel safe. It will take time, I'm sure. I'm still working on being myself and enjoying who that person is. It's scary because I don't always know what the person on the other side of the looking glass is going to do once they see the real me. It's a journey, though and I am willing to give it a try.
After Sunday's message at C3, I realized, I could be one of those wax creations and you wouldn't even know it. I would look real, but you'd have to actually get real close and "touch" me to actually find out. I'm not always a wax statue. I can morphe into a real person when I feel comfortable or safe.
I almost reminds me of the 1987 movie "Mannequin" wih Andrew McArthy. His character designs mannequins and later, to his surprise, one of his creations came to life. However, she only came to life around him, no one else.
Odd. But the sad reality of it is there are those of us who are mannequins and perform the jobs that are expected of us night and day; to only be our true selves in the presencof those around us who are safe.
But is it always necessary to become ones self only in the presence of that safe person, or can growth and healing come when we reveal our identity to those around us. Would there be any real danger? Would we truly be exposed for the fakes that we believe ourselves to be? Would we be just as safe as we would with our one true love as the mannequin was with Andrew McArthy's character?
I think, in the end, it's alright to reveal ourselves at the appropriate times to certain individuals who may help us to feel safe. It will take time, I'm sure. I'm still working on being myself and enjoying who that person is. It's scary because I don't always know what the person on the other side of the looking glass is going to do once they see the real me. It's a journey, though and I am willing to give it a try.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Disappointment and Expectations
Have you ever been disappointed by life?
Ever had expectations that you prayed and prayed over that were never met or still aren't being met? Hop on the bus, Gus.
I have yet to meet someone who has not been disappointed by life or expectations that could have easily been met and weren't.
I don't have any grand explanation for it, but I sure wish someone did.
Nearly everytime I think I have my husband, or my son, or my mom, or my daughter figured out, life throws a monkey wrench on the mix and stops the clock. It's so frustrating to navigate through this life without knowing if there is a significant point or resolution in the making.
But, ya see, there is. It's not simple, or by any means logical, but it is easy. The difficulty is actually doing it.
Wanna know what it is?
It's called prayer and petition. It's called patience.
The Bible says, in the book of James that one who prays without faith, is like a wave being tossed about by the wind. He is referring to asking God for wisdom. When we pray, we should alwsy seek God's will in our lives and give him our cares; however, we need also ask for the wisdom and discernment in order to navigate through life more effectively.
Now, I'm not saying prayer will automatically bring you reassurance or peace, but it has a way of bringing us to a better understanding of God's.
If he gave us everything we asked him for because we thought we were ready, we would be no better off than most spoiled children you see in the grocery store whose mother buys the candy for the screaming child just to shut him or her (or both) up.
Is the candy good for them? Surely not.
Is the mother's ability to give in so quickly good for them? Not at all.
Is the word "No" good for them? Yes. Yes, it is.
Would ignoring the children's cries and leaving the store be such a bad thing? No, that's why we have Exedrin.
Would the children learn a lesson? Yes, most possibly, but not if the mother continuously gave in to their cries.
Is anybody out there? Are you catching the drift?
If we give our grocery list and our expectations to God and he says "no" or "wait" we think we've done something wrong and try to make restitution in order to get what we want.
More than likely, that doesn't work. That's probably why most of you single people are still single.
Sometimes God just says "no" or "wait" to teach us to trust him, he knows what's best for us, he knows what's good for us, he wants to teach us something, or maybe he knows (as one of my dear friends told me) we aren't ready yet, we only think we are.
God created us, from the very beginning when the sperm met the egg. He knows our thoughts before we think them, our words before we say them and our actions before we perform them.
I don't know about you, but I think I would want someone like that to watch over me.
The trouble is, I think I know better that God does regarding my needs, wants and expectations.
It's when we think we know better than God does that we end up hurting like the crying child hurts when Mommy ignores his cries and leaves the store without the candy.
Eventually the hurt and anger goes away and is replaced with love, smiles and a greater sence of trust. The child knows his mommy loves him, but the child is self absorbed and self centered; just like us. Just like the child, we cry and wine and pout when God or life for that matter, doesn't meet our expectations, but we soon learn to trust and love God because we learn to discover how much he loves us.
So, don't give up. Keep praying and asking God for wisdom and discernment regarding his will.
He loves you. He knows what's best for you. Sometimes, he is going to say "no" or "wait" and then ignore your begging, pleading and whining, leaving the store without getting you what you cried so hard for. However, he is leaving the store with you. It's up to you whether or not you choose to trust him for who he is, not for what you can get from him.
I wonder what you'll choose. To accept it, trust him and remain faithful or remain angry and eventually become bitter because he didn't give you what you wanted.
Ever had expectations that you prayed and prayed over that were never met or still aren't being met? Hop on the bus, Gus.
I have yet to meet someone who has not been disappointed by life or expectations that could have easily been met and weren't.
I don't have any grand explanation for it, but I sure wish someone did.
Nearly everytime I think I have my husband, or my son, or my mom, or my daughter figured out, life throws a monkey wrench on the mix and stops the clock. It's so frustrating to navigate through this life without knowing if there is a significant point or resolution in the making.
But, ya see, there is. It's not simple, or by any means logical, but it is easy. The difficulty is actually doing it.
Wanna know what it is?
It's called prayer and petition. It's called patience.
The Bible says, in the book of James that one who prays without faith, is like a wave being tossed about by the wind. He is referring to asking God for wisdom. When we pray, we should alwsy seek God's will in our lives and give him our cares; however, we need also ask for the wisdom and discernment in order to navigate through life more effectively.
Now, I'm not saying prayer will automatically bring you reassurance or peace, but it has a way of bringing us to a better understanding of God's.
If he gave us everything we asked him for because we thought we were ready, we would be no better off than most spoiled children you see in the grocery store whose mother buys the candy for the screaming child just to shut him or her (or both) up.
Is the candy good for them? Surely not.
Is the mother's ability to give in so quickly good for them? Not at all.
Is the word "No" good for them? Yes. Yes, it is.
Would ignoring the children's cries and leaving the store be such a bad thing? No, that's why we have Exedrin.
Would the children learn a lesson? Yes, most possibly, but not if the mother continuously gave in to their cries.
Is anybody out there? Are you catching the drift?
If we give our grocery list and our expectations to God and he says "no" or "wait" we think we've done something wrong and try to make restitution in order to get what we want.
More than likely, that doesn't work. That's probably why most of you single people are still single.
Sometimes God just says "no" or "wait" to teach us to trust him, he knows what's best for us, he knows what's good for us, he wants to teach us something, or maybe he knows (as one of my dear friends told me) we aren't ready yet, we only think we are.
God created us, from the very beginning when the sperm met the egg. He knows our thoughts before we think them, our words before we say them and our actions before we perform them.
I don't know about you, but I think I would want someone like that to watch over me.
The trouble is, I think I know better that God does regarding my needs, wants and expectations.
It's when we think we know better than God does that we end up hurting like the crying child hurts when Mommy ignores his cries and leaves the store without the candy.
Eventually the hurt and anger goes away and is replaced with love, smiles and a greater sence of trust. The child knows his mommy loves him, but the child is self absorbed and self centered; just like us. Just like the child, we cry and wine and pout when God or life for that matter, doesn't meet our expectations, but we soon learn to trust and love God because we learn to discover how much he loves us.
So, don't give up. Keep praying and asking God for wisdom and discernment regarding his will.
He loves you. He knows what's best for you. Sometimes, he is going to say "no" or "wait" and then ignore your begging, pleading and whining, leaving the store without getting you what you cried so hard for. However, he is leaving the store with you. It's up to you whether or not you choose to trust him for who he is, not for what you can get from him.
I wonder what you'll choose. To accept it, trust him and remain faithful or remain angry and eventually become bitter because he didn't give you what you wanted.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
A Fabulous Smoothy
I love smoothies. My husband makes the best papaya smoothies. Everytime he takes out the blender and starts putting the ingredients together, it reminds me of my current famliy situation. You see, I am a step mom; although we don't use that terminology in this house, I am. My two children are mine by heart, but not by nature.
The reason the blender reminds me of my situation is because our family is still being blended together. My husband's children, a thirteen and ten year old, love me dearly, but there are still matters of the heart that cause some lumps in our relationship.
Making a smoothy takes time and energy. Time to put the ingredients together, and the energy of the blender to blend everything.
Sometimes, I want to be the blender and make all the ingredients mix up and be done with it so I can take part of the goodness. However, if I am the blender, how then can I be part of the smoothy goodness? Uh-Ha! Everytime my impatience gets the better of me to want a smooth concoction, I leave the mixture to become the blender. Well, let's imagine, for a moment that I am the ice in the blender for this marvolous smoothy. Everybody knows that a smoothy is not a smoothy without the proper amount of ice.
So, knowing that an item cannot be in two places at the same time, or be two objects at the same time, how can I possibly be the blender and be the ice in the blender?
The answer: I can't. It's a physical, mathmatical impossibility.
The same is true for my presious family. If I emotionally, physically, spiritually or psychologically "check-out" of my responsibility as a step-mom, then the family as a whole, will not accomplish what it is intended to be.
It will not be a smoothy.
And in this analogy, it wouldn't be a family.
It's an ongoing process and takes work from all those involved. Everything in the blender and the blender its self. My job is to let the blender do its job and stay in the blender.
So, who then is the blender, you ask? God, of course. So, I need to trust him and be the ice and not grumble or complain about how long it is taking or why.
Not an easy task, trust me. I have a tendancy to think I can do a better job than God.
Can anybody hear me?
God knows what he is doing and whether his speed is fast or slow, he is working. I don't always have to see it to know or experience it. And someday, we all, as a family will be able to taste the marvelous goodness of the finished smoothy. Someday.
The reason the blender reminds me of my situation is because our family is still being blended together. My husband's children, a thirteen and ten year old, love me dearly, but there are still matters of the heart that cause some lumps in our relationship.
Making a smoothy takes time and energy. Time to put the ingredients together, and the energy of the blender to blend everything.
Sometimes, I want to be the blender and make all the ingredients mix up and be done with it so I can take part of the goodness. However, if I am the blender, how then can I be part of the smoothy goodness? Uh-Ha! Everytime my impatience gets the better of me to want a smooth concoction, I leave the mixture to become the blender. Well, let's imagine, for a moment that I am the ice in the blender for this marvolous smoothy. Everybody knows that a smoothy is not a smoothy without the proper amount of ice.
So, knowing that an item cannot be in two places at the same time, or be two objects at the same time, how can I possibly be the blender and be the ice in the blender?
The answer: I can't. It's a physical, mathmatical impossibility.
The same is true for my presious family. If I emotionally, physically, spiritually or psychologically "check-out" of my responsibility as a step-mom, then the family as a whole, will not accomplish what it is intended to be.
It will not be a smoothy.
And in this analogy, it wouldn't be a family.
It's an ongoing process and takes work from all those involved. Everything in the blender and the blender its self. My job is to let the blender do its job and stay in the blender.
So, who then is the blender, you ask? God, of course. So, I need to trust him and be the ice and not grumble or complain about how long it is taking or why.
Not an easy task, trust me. I have a tendancy to think I can do a better job than God.
Can anybody hear me?
God knows what he is doing and whether his speed is fast or slow, he is working. I don't always have to see it to know or experience it. And someday, we all, as a family will be able to taste the marvelous goodness of the finished smoothy. Someday.
Friday, February 8, 2008
How to be Perfect: A Recipe for Disaster
2 cups insecurity
1 cup jealousy
4 cups pride
1/2 cup contempt
3/4 cup bitterness
1 cup anger
1 tsp stubborness
2 tbls arrogance
Add insecurity, jealousy, pride and contempt together until you witness seething. Quickly add bitterness to the mix until mixture becomes hard and callous. In a serperate bowl bring anger and stubborness to a boil until it turns red. Mix together with the pride mixture until is reaches a dark, rough texture. Place mixture in a well suited, non-transparent conatiner. Sprinkle with arrogance for flavor.
This is my idea of perfection.
Know how I know?
Because I am driven to be perfect every day. What most people don't know it that underneath the beatiful exterior is a recipe for disastor. I have to be dilligent in every area of my life in order to prevent this recipe from destroying my life.
I work hard at making the recipe look good, but if you taste it you would know that it isn't.
Jesus says, taste and see that I am good.
He has a recipe I can use to replace my existing one.
Want it?
4 cup forgivness
2 cup honor
1 cup love
3 cup grace
2-1/2 cup mercy
4 tbsp tears
2 tsp prayer
Add forgiveness, honor, love and grace together. Mix until mixture is smooth. Slowly sift grace into the mixture, stirring carefully. In a seperate bowl, add mercy and tears, stir until it turns white, then add it to the grace mixture. Stir both together until contents are thouroughly mixed. Pour into a transparent container and sprinkle with prayer.
Serves all. Enjoy.
1 cup jealousy
4 cups pride
1/2 cup contempt
3/4 cup bitterness
1 cup anger
1 tsp stubborness
2 tbls arrogance
Add insecurity, jealousy, pride and contempt together until you witness seething. Quickly add bitterness to the mix until mixture becomes hard and callous. In a serperate bowl bring anger and stubborness to a boil until it turns red. Mix together with the pride mixture until is reaches a dark, rough texture. Place mixture in a well suited, non-transparent conatiner. Sprinkle with arrogance for flavor.
This is my idea of perfection.
Know how I know?
Because I am driven to be perfect every day. What most people don't know it that underneath the beatiful exterior is a recipe for disastor. I have to be dilligent in every area of my life in order to prevent this recipe from destroying my life.
I work hard at making the recipe look good, but if you taste it you would know that it isn't.
Jesus says, taste and see that I am good.
He has a recipe I can use to replace my existing one.
Want it?
4 cup forgivness
2 cup honor
1 cup love
3 cup grace
2-1/2 cup mercy
4 tbsp tears
2 tsp prayer
Add forgiveness, honor, love and grace together. Mix until mixture is smooth. Slowly sift grace into the mixture, stirring carefully. In a seperate bowl, add mercy and tears, stir until it turns white, then add it to the grace mixture. Stir both together until contents are thouroughly mixed. Pour into a transparent container and sprinkle with prayer.
Serves all. Enjoy.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Rules and Fire Ants!
Ya know, all my life I have been surrounded by rules. Rules subjected on me, by me and for me. Some were for my own good, some for others' own good. Now that I am older, and I won't say how much older, I think a lot about rules. I think mostly about keeping them and lately about how much better I am at keeping them than others. There, I said it. I'm better than most. Or am I? Hmmm.
God created us in His image but he also created us in love. At first he subjected us to all these rules; rules he knew we couldn't keep. Gee, that's obvious, I mean, he's God. We're like ants in comparison. However, we are beloved ants.
Now, where I live, we have lots of ants. Red, vicious, fire-hot biting ants. They come with a delux mount of sand or dirt, anywhere from three feet high to four feet in diameter; again, depending on the amount of dirt and of course the size of the colony.
I don't hesitate in telling you that I kill these venum inducing, itchy irritating varments. I kill them with a huge, victorious smile on my face. Just thinking about it makes me smile.
I say this because of another favorite word of mine called "perspective". Our perspective of fire ants is not so good because they bite us. All you have to do is stand in the proximity of an ant pile and, well, they'll come after you. They hurt us even when we aren't planning on getting a gigantic bag of fire ant killer and pooring over their unsuspecting souls. (boy, I sound vengeful)
That's one of the reasons why we kill them. There are others, like short circiuting your a/c units or your pool filters and other such electrical apparatus.
Perspective is important because we view the ants as a nuisance, which they are; however, just as we are like ants to God, he does not see us as a nuisance. In fact, it is just the opposite.
John 3:16, the most highly quoted scripture of all, states that God loved the world. The world would qualify as everything in and of the world, including fire ants (and us, of course).
When we loose sight of God's perspective, we lose sight of God. When we allow that to happen, our perspecitve gets skewed. Now who wants a skewed perspective? Not me.
In light of that, we all have perspectives that have become cloudy and jumbled. Even the best of us who keep as many rules as possbile (religious rules or not) still have faulty perspective.
Here's why.
It's not about the rules. It's about God.
It's not about my perspective. It's about God's.
Now, maybe I won't stop killing fire ants, but I sure will try my best not to "kill" my fellow "ants" because I find them irritating for not following the rules. Whether I like living in the same colony with all the other ants God put me with (or I put myself with) I need to have God's perspective of each little red, biting ant. My focus on the rules needs to be filtered with my focus on God and his perspective of me. Other wise, my pride will overcome me and the rules will be all that matter. Now that's a loss of perspective.
God created us in His image but he also created us in love. At first he subjected us to all these rules; rules he knew we couldn't keep. Gee, that's obvious, I mean, he's God. We're like ants in comparison. However, we are beloved ants.
Now, where I live, we have lots of ants. Red, vicious, fire-hot biting ants. They come with a delux mount of sand or dirt, anywhere from three feet high to four feet in diameter; again, depending on the amount of dirt and of course the size of the colony.
I don't hesitate in telling you that I kill these venum inducing, itchy irritating varments. I kill them with a huge, victorious smile on my face. Just thinking about it makes me smile.
I say this because of another favorite word of mine called "perspective". Our perspective of fire ants is not so good because they bite us. All you have to do is stand in the proximity of an ant pile and, well, they'll come after you. They hurt us even when we aren't planning on getting a gigantic bag of fire ant killer and pooring over their unsuspecting souls. (boy, I sound vengeful)
That's one of the reasons why we kill them. There are others, like short circiuting your a/c units or your pool filters and other such electrical apparatus.
Perspective is important because we view the ants as a nuisance, which they are; however, just as we are like ants to God, he does not see us as a nuisance. In fact, it is just the opposite.
John 3:16, the most highly quoted scripture of all, states that God loved the world. The world would qualify as everything in and of the world, including fire ants (and us, of course).
When we loose sight of God's perspective, we lose sight of God. When we allow that to happen, our perspecitve gets skewed. Now who wants a skewed perspective? Not me.
In light of that, we all have perspectives that have become cloudy and jumbled. Even the best of us who keep as many rules as possbile (religious rules or not) still have faulty perspective.
Here's why.
It's not about the rules. It's about God.
It's not about my perspective. It's about God's.
Now, maybe I won't stop killing fire ants, but I sure will try my best not to "kill" my fellow "ants" because I find them irritating for not following the rules. Whether I like living in the same colony with all the other ants God put me with (or I put myself with) I need to have God's perspective of each little red, biting ant. My focus on the rules needs to be filtered with my focus on God and his perspective of me. Other wise, my pride will overcome me and the rules will be all that matter. Now that's a loss of perspective.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Swim for it!
I cannot tell you how excited I am today. A project my group and I have been working on is coming close to its end. Three huge assignments are due next week. My heart is racing and the thoughts are catching up. I enjoy working on assignments, whether large or small. What I have found most challenging is group work.
I don't know about you, but for me, working in a group on the same project is kind of like swimming with a weight tied to your ankle. Now, I won't say how heavy the weight; that depends on the situation.
So, what to you do?
You could give up. But then you'd drown. No no no no. That wouldn't do.
You could tred water and scream for help until someone shows up (like a life guard maybe). Until you realize the sign, "No lifeguard on duty. Swim at you own risk!" Ok, so tredding water won't do.
Now you might be asking yourself how you got into this situation to begin with.
But that still won't help you with your current situation. You'll have to swim for shore.
With faith, hope, perserverance and my least favorite word patience; you can do it.
It will take time to make it to shore. You might be really frustrated along the way with no one there to help you; however, through your diligence and faith, your goal can be accomplished.
God may send someone or something your way.
Then again, he may not. Your only alternative it to have faith and hold tight to hope.
Be patient with your current situation. Keep swimming. Remain focused. You will make it to the shore in due time with your reward waiting for you; either a pay increase, a promotion, an "A++++", a new perspective, or in some cases, a new found friend.
Only God knows. And he's cheering you on.
Swim on!
I don't know about you, but for me, working in a group on the same project is kind of like swimming with a weight tied to your ankle. Now, I won't say how heavy the weight; that depends on the situation.
So, what to you do?
You could give up. But then you'd drown. No no no no. That wouldn't do.
You could tred water and scream for help until someone shows up (like a life guard maybe). Until you realize the sign, "No lifeguard on duty. Swim at you own risk!" Ok, so tredding water won't do.
Now you might be asking yourself how you got into this situation to begin with.
But that still won't help you with your current situation. You'll have to swim for shore.
With faith, hope, perserverance and my least favorite word patience; you can do it.
It will take time to make it to shore. You might be really frustrated along the way with no one there to help you; however, through your diligence and faith, your goal can be accomplished.
God may send someone or something your way.
Then again, he may not. Your only alternative it to have faith and hold tight to hope.
Be patient with your current situation. Keep swimming. Remain focused. You will make it to the shore in due time with your reward waiting for you; either a pay increase, a promotion, an "A++++", a new perspective, or in some cases, a new found friend.
Only God knows. And he's cheering you on.
Swim on!
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