Learning Responsibility

So, I had a little mini chat with my daughter this morning.
And for those of you who know me, I don't like idle discipline.
Being grounded is ok, but there needs to be a purpose, an end point, a goal.
It's not about, Mom needs a break from you. Although sometimes ....

So. I have given my Little One some questions to ponder.
I know, I am such a meany; a real stickler on homework.

Anyway. It works for her.
It works for me.
It's something to actually reflect back on when this situation (Oh, God please no) happens again.
It works. It's tangible.

One of the questions is "If God were sitting next to you, what would you say to him? What would he say to you?" I ask this of myself quite often.
I ask this because I want to first see her perspective on what God thinks about her and vice versa. Very important.
Depending on what she says, we will either move forward or back up.

Another question pertains to her thinking. Her thought processes and the root cause of why she thinks what she thinks; which leads to her acting it out.
Deep, I know. She's a smart girl and I know God will reveal it to her.

This then tied into the next question, what actions and steps need to be taken in order to change her thought process and inevitably her actions.
I know. That's a challenging one.

The last one is more or less her confessions. What mixed signals am I sending my family?
That's the one that I am just going to leave for her to read and talk to me about it if she wants to. That's one for her to just be honest and see how her actions are so loud that I can't hear anything she is saying.

So why am I doing this.
Well, I think it is important for her to see that her actions not only have consequences but they have reasons behind them that need to be addressed.
I think we should all do this.
She has to take responsibility for changing this so that it doesn't keep happening.
And if it does, she will at least have a plan of attack.
She has to understand that relationships take time and effort; they are not always fun.

It takes work. And work is not always fun.
I think she is struggling with control and fun.
And we have a lot of fun here. As well as a lot of free time.

I think she is struggling with responsibility. Such a bad word.

The truth is, we all struggle with taking responsibility for things.
We all struggle with relationships.
It's hard work.
We'd like it to be easy and always fun, but I don't think it would be as rewarding.

Why is it that we care more about what God thinks and doing things his way when we are in trouble, or right after we've been exposed? It's because we know we messed up.
Then we apologize and make all sorts of promises and deals that we probably won't live up to.

It all goes back to our motives. The motor that compels us to do what we do. If our motives are selfish, we will do selfish things; even if it looks good to others on the outside. God knows. Nothing is hidden from him. I love that and I hate that. And the truth is, my kids hate that about me.

I just know when they are not being sincere, honest or whatever. If you are a parent, you understand. If not, God will give you this amazing software when you have children of your own.
God has this amazing software. He extends it to us through the holy spirit. That is the strange feeling you get in your stomach when you know you should not have eaten the last piece of chocolate cake. Especially since you already had two pieces.

No really. The holy spirit convicts us. He gently prods us and probes us to do the right thing.
It is up to us whether we are going to tune into it or turn it off.
It takes discipline and humility. It is not easy to put others first when you have royally screwed up. But there is a freedom in that. A restoration that occurs. And somehow, I don't know how, the relationship is some how better. More mature, more understanding, more intune.

I know my little one will be a great employee, an empathic mom, a wonderful wife, a super bff and tons more. Though the steps to achieving this will take time, dedication, determination, patience and lots of hard work, I know she will learn this and attribute it to her life.