Approachable

Have you ever had a neighborhood dog? He's fenced in and you feel safe; you walk toward the house and from out of no where, the dog starts coming at you, full speed ahead and barking up a storm.
Your praying the fence will hold and that it won't jump over the fence and attack you.
... and then you check your pants?

I have a neighborhood dog like that. His name's Buddy.
We've already been introduced.
Once he gets to the fence, he realizes it's me.
If I want to play with him, all I have to do is say, "Where's that kitty-cat?"
And guess what?
He's found a way out of the fence and charges into our yarrd, searching for my cat.
Poor Trouble, if she only knew.

He's fun to play with.
And I am hoping the day my neighbors give him up, we'll be considered for adoption.

Now that's just a funny tail (pun intended) of me and my neighborhood companion.
But what if, in your case, it's not so safe?
What if in your case, it isn't a dog you're concerned about charging at you?
What if it's a neighbor or a friend?
What if it's a relative, spouse, or in-law?
Yikes.
Now what do you do?

If you run, the dog will chase you.
If you run from your attacker, the same might happen.
You may only empower them and give them a greater advantage.

It's only natural to fear what man will do to you.
However, upon a recent experience and some wisdom imparted to me by a friend, fear of man is absurd. The Bible says, "The fear of man will prove to be a snare, but those who trust in the Lord will be kept safe." Proverbs 29:25
It also says this, "In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free. The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? The Lord is with me; he is my helper. I will look in triumph on my enemies." Psalms 188:5-7

I keep these scriptures on my wall above my computer, where I've been spending a lot of my time lately. Thank you Dr. Shyers and Dr. Wilcox. Thanks.
No really, thanks.

So, what's the big deal about approaching someone?
The big deal is many big deals, actually.
What if they have hurt you in the past?
What if they have shown themselves to be untrustworthy?
What if they are double-minded?
What if they are .... blah blah.

That's a lot to consider. I can empathize with those concerns.
But what happened to trust in the Lord?
Well, I think fear can overwhelm us at times.
In our fear, biologically, we either run or freeze.

Approaching people who have harmed us is something we, as Christians have been called to do. It is expected of us. In Matthew, I believe, chapter 13, Jesus tells us that if we are about to bring our supplications to God and we suddenly remember that someone has offended us, we are to go, run don't walk, go to that person and present your concerns.
If that person refuses to listen to you, you then go, to another person who can mediate the situation. A mediator is one who will not take sides, they just listen to both sides and prevent any brawls or cat fights. If the person refuses to listen to your concerns at that point, Jesus tells us to treat them as a pagen, an unbeliever, a non-Christian.

I don't know about you, but I don't like those situations.
I mean, come on! Can't there be an easier way?
Can't we all just get along here?
Um, no.

There is no easy way to deal with people who have caused you problems, or made your life uncomfortable. But if you don't do it, it will consume you and quite possibly will hinder your own personal prayers and supplications you bring to the Lord. No joke.

Present your issue to the Lord.
He knows what you are dealing with.
He knows what this other person has done to you.
He is waiting for you to do something about it.
He knows it won't be easy; confrontations never are.
You may lose that person as a friend; if they were one to begin with.
You may hurt or cause the other person to hurt; hurt is ok.
It is healthy to have pain. Healthy pain.
Pain can cause us to make better choices next time.
The pain you may cause this person in an effort to bring your concerns may, in fact help them to make better choices next time; with someone else.
And if you don't do it, you are doing a disservice to that person, to the Lord and to yourself.

Aim high. You can always take someone with you if you don't feel comfortable, the Lord said you can. Just don't take someone who you know will take sides.

Trust God. He loves both of you.
He wants what's best for both of you.

So, what are you waiting for?
Trust God has your best interests at heart.
Ya never know, maybe one day you can stand in front of that dog and say "Where's that Kitty cat?" and make a new friend; an even better friend than you once thought. And maybe not.
What's meant to be, will be.


Disclaimer: I am just thinking out loud here and am not repsonsible for any actions you take as a result of reading this on-line journal. It is an on-line journal not an advice column.